day 2: Angels of my life

day 2 was lesser photos i guess, but not at the cake. haha.. spent eons taking photos with the cake! with the numerous cousins and families. it took eternity and silly daniel who was sitting at the stairs was laughing hysterically. =/ because he knows how sore my mouth muscles was from smiling.

but especially on this day, i'll just have to acknowledge how much i love my cousin daniel. i love my cous so muuuuuuchhhhh. he knew i hated his ugly long caveman hair of which i complain every 2 minutes when i see him, he shaved it all off for me- just for my birthday party, so i wun look at photos in future and tell him "dude ah! you really look like cave man la!"

daniel darling, this post is for you. =)

*disclaimer: not all angels are presented in this post. (i'm just too lazy. oops)

Angels of my life: Day 1 (Friends)

wow. =) that was fun.

haha.. 2 great parties in 2 days.. i'm so blessed. firstly, let me thank all who came, all who wanted to come, but couldn't make it, those who came and spent money on me and esp those who didn't come but still spend money on me. hahahaa.. =D

so the theme of the night was angels. basically to thank all you guys there who have been a guiding influence in my life. =D so lets just let the pics do the talking. enjoy. =)
















































day 2 soon. =)

declaration + vision

its been far too long since i tried to cover how i felt.

principles aside, i've fallen in love.

its really hard not to with such a guy.

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i see you in the scantuary. i see you with her. i see you with your eyes close, i see you with the mic. i see you praising God, i see you worship leading.

perhaps, the reason as to why i know we'll work.

love you, dude.

a great 2 days! *smiles

3rd may

it hurt. but then again, i'm just sensitive.

i hope the book will change ur perspective of life.. and i hope you'll be happy...

happy birthday, dude. =)

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had a great day today.. =D with fish and co and spidey 3. altho spidey was quite a disappointment. =/ it was really draggy. but anyhow, i'm glad i watched it.

work's starting on monday. sigh. kiss goodbye to life. and hello to the world of telephone calls.

I am blessed; and cursed at the same time.

I am happy; and sad at the same time.

i think he feels the same way too.

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HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY XIANGJIE!! =D

Adrian!!

wasseh!! Jap girl coming! don't say i never find hot asian blood for you. hahahahahahaha

then again, i seriously have no idea how she looks like. oh well.

haha

Vietnamese, Japanese and 3 Singaporeans.

*wink

u better get some really cute guys along to stockholm.

hahaha! can't wait for you and xj to be baaaaaaaaack!! =D

Serene + random

"show me your SP video!"

=) Serene's back!

just had a lil 10 min with her.. miss those times when i whine to her.. and hearing her lame jokes that actually make sense.

guess thing's very much different for her. =) and i'm glad she's fine.. but darling, if your read this, please don't do anything 'stupid' with your job just as yet ok?

yay.. we are going to meet larry the cucumber tmr~!! =D

i think she's so sweet. =)
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my first exam this sem kinda suck. but not like i care very much about OM. so yea. BYE BYE OM. but please give me a decent grade.

now its accounting and i'm trying to get my act together again.. but i'm tired man.. think i shall go sleep soon. =/ interview tmr morning at 11.. hai.

interview interviews interviews.. one more on Monday.. oh wells.

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i just checked. i have an average of 40 other fans who visit my blog regiularly. scary shit. so much so that i am afraid to write anything private anymore.. haha.. i think they should pay me to put adverts up, i'm sure they'll earn.

better go sleep. need to wake up early and borrow joyce's iron. hahahaha..

=)

yay! serene is back! =D

my nerdy score

wa lao!! how disappointing!! not even 50%!!

ratatouille

Ratatouille Teaser
Uploaded by RatatouilleMovie

oh goodness.. how cute!!!


laur [♠.A.C.E.R.S.♠] [FOBC]: slow progress, but at least i'm moving. haha says:
i think its true when they say u are what you eat

laur [♠.A.C.E.R.S.♠] [FOBC]: slow progress, but at least i'm moving. haha says:
haha

laur [♠.A.C.E.R.S.♠] [FOBC]: slow progress, but at least i'm moving. haha says:
he eat so good food then the fur very nice

laur [♠.A.C.E.R.S.♠] [FOBC]: slow progress, but at least i'm moving. haha says:
ahahhaah

*6.fuf*[swoc][abc][kampungsheares][sl]:the more we mug in peace, the less we sweat in tests. says:
hahhaa

*6.fuf*[swoc][abc][kampungsheares][sl]:the more we mug in peace, the less we sweat in tests. says:
then i tink i eat a lot of good food

*6.fuf*[swoc][abc][kampungsheares][sl]:the more we mug in peace, the less we sweat in tests. says:
coz i look so shuai



wah lao. haha.. talking to shixiu can leave u in a state of -.-" haha.. but oh wells, he's still my 11 months older than me brother, so no choice... hahahaha

i found it.

haha.. i'm quite good in such things.

i really wish you'll go back to writing again. i want to read it, because they are so important to me. =)

ok i seriously should be studying...

*grumble

and..

*smile (hehe)

adorable. totally.

#501

this is #501.

and i just want to grumblegrumble here. exams are coming. although its not as many as the rest, i still feel so bored studying for it. =/

and guess what i'm doing: talking to shixiu about recommending a place to hold my 21st. oh well, i guess i'm left with home. haha

home is well, cheap. i guess.. have some personal reservations on that, i guess.. but i think i'm left with no choice. most economical. joyce suggested botanic gardens, and even Macdonald's. but becks used it already. ( and no., i dun want chicky club) and having it at open air spaces is well, not very advisable? i'm afraid of bad weather conditions i guess.

hmm.. perhaps i shouldn't be thinking about all this. gawd. i even wrote my invitation list. hahaha.. its all that stupid neighbour fault who invited me to his party this Sat. haha..

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i have gotten another interview call from ascott this friday. i love that company. hope i get it, though. sigh. oh wells, like what my joannie says "God will provde." so there, i got my answer. If i have no internship this summer.. does that mea i'll go back to SAA to work?

...

urgh. please, i'm bored doing those stuff. dammit visa, please call me. i'll do all your ppt slides till they are pretty pretty.

haha.. hmm.. 1 month more..

i wanna go KL!!!!

*screams: LLLLIIIIAAAANNNNN.....

*giggles

my 500th post

this is my 500th post. how cool's that. haha..

wells. 251 was well, liberating. hahaha.. the live karma sutra scene was quite, disturbing. but anyways, i guess the whole singaporean thing portrayed in theatre, about how parents want us to be the first, the whole education system thing in singapore, its really getting stale. to me, at least.

what was new in this play, was the fact that it showed all the different records that singapore has set. the flow of the movements of the play was fluent. the actors and actresses were great. the bi sexual scenes were well, quite disturbing to me too. but i guess, thats with theatre. one must have an open mind to appreciate all.

other issues tackled was christianity.. and also the performing arts scene in singapore was greatly emphasised. what then constitutes 'art'?

in general, her life is really dysfunctional. poor girl. if only people get to experience God for real..

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went to have hagen daz later. the fondue was perfect. but my throat is not. haha.. oh wells. the price to pay.

hope the sleep plus the panadol given by an angel will rid all sickness. haha

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORN! although i know you won't see this.

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"if your shoes are going to hurt you so much, i rather you go barefoot."

thankful + throat hurts. =/

right. all i need is just a few days and i'll get over the issue. so i'm glad i'm fine now, and i'm not going to be emo over it again. haha.. emo. (reminds me about aunty quan's msg this morning)

thank you for being there for me. and well, being the most understanding person. =D

i know its hard for you.. sorry about it. =(

i'll try to make it up! =D

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i'm so falling sick. i feel like there's this flame in my throat, it freaking hurts. =( can't believe i still ate so much chocolate yday, when father decided to melt them to go with our korean strawberries which are just so yummy. =)

lots on my mind, but i really need sleep. may my throat be better when i wake up later for 251! woohoo! haha..

if that post was for me, which i'm certain it is, can you at least tell me the reason as to why u don't trust me anymore? i don't even know what i did that made you lose your trust in me!

sigh.

i really really really really do not know.

------

oh wells. =(

i've been reading what you've been feeling because i want to see if we could start to talk again. To see if we can salvage our friendship and start everything again.

it takes 2 hands to clap.

my hand is always there waiting for yours.

i'm still praying.

question:

Sometimes we do things that we mean it.
Sometimes we do things that we don't mean it.
Sometimes we don't do things although we mean it.

Sometimes we say things that really comes from the heart
Sometimes we say things that cannot be found within the heart.
sometimes we don't say the things that our heart really means.

the question is.. how do you let others see what you really mean, especially when you don't do it?

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it really is going to happen in a month's time. :(

=(

i saw you while you were walking back towards hall from the lib. i wanted to scream "Hey!! wait for me!" wanted to hear your view point on this matter.

but reality hit me faster than my mouth could open.

so i decided to slow my steps and not say hi, dragged my feet back to hall, behind you. oh wells. i guess the time's not right yet.

feeling quite low down now, esp after reading what u were feeling when u were walking back. somehow, our friendship has taken a turn for the worse. lets hope it will U-turn again soon.

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i have no idea why i'm feeling so bad about my interview. i think it went okay and i didn't say anything wrong. sheesh. i guess this is my greatest weakness. i better go find some other weakness to talk abo8ut.

interview with lenovo tmr and draft on friday. but i really want the theatre internship... =(

oh wells. oh God.. lead the way. and heal the blisters please..

my day.

yay!! my number 1 fan rocks! haha.. thanks for the photo on my door. haha.. =)

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hmm.. slept at 5 am this morning and wokr up at 8 plus to go for the final GEM proj meeting ( Thank God). manage to survive the whole class, while thinking if i should go and cut my hair, which i did, after class. haha.. it was a tough decision: cut only? or cut & highlight? cut where? cut how much?

but oh wells. i came to a conclusion anyways. so i cut my hair, tho it looks as the same as previously, i really feel a lighter head. the fringe is short, i'm afraid i look gina. =( haha.. guess have to go do things to it this wed. i have tomorrow to play around with. haha..

went to walk ard to find a formal top to reward myself for my first interview, but i couldn't find any pretty tops, so i decided to screw it. and be happy with the new hair. which brings me to this:

everybody who has no clue what to get for me for my 21st, i'll really appreciate forever 21 vouchers. if you dislike forever 21, i'm open to zara as well. thank you very much.

anyway, i saw this really really really pretty black jacket at forever 21 that i fell in love with. so ya. i gues i'll get it after my birthday? (looks at you for an answer) gosh. forever 21 rocks my socks.

oh. let me also add that i found a corset at forever 21 that is so pretty which costs $48, $12 cheaper than the one i got for SP and i'm like -.-""""" well, irritated.

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yayyyy. tmr no school. can go research more about the company and the healthcare industry.. oh well. not that i have much interest about it, but i think u have to start some where. so, i will go read up on that.. and do my MA project which Alvin, i think is going to kill me very soon cos i think he did everything. (oops.) and tehre's my samsung case to do also...

oh wells. life's great. but i think there's something lacking till he talks to me again?
when harry met sally: could they ever be good friends?

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i'm a really tired girl.

stubborn me.

hmm.. dinah said she can see that i poured out everything already.

i was thinking that she has got to be kidding. but from today, i figured out that she's right. i really have poured out everything. and i want to hit myself for that. how many times i have warned myself against this, and i still go ahead. sigh.

yes, i'm stubborn. i'm very stubborn.

but i don't know who i'm being stubborn to. =(

sigh. this is sad. what am i going to do?

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drinking coffee at 8 pm still makes me sleepy. 0.0 does that mean i'm immune to coffee?

....CRAP.

on vulgarities

i remember there was this pastor who preached in church one fine sunday. and his msg left a very deep impression in my heart. His message was about how people can see Christ in you. And from his sharing, he said that he joined this class where all his classmates were spewing vulgarities at each other. Until they met him. he scolded them everytime he heard a vulgarity. until they just decided to not say such vulgarities to each other in front of him because it was wrong to do so.

or sth like that.

and it really really left me thinking: i want people not to say such words in front of me too. Gee. perhaps i should start whacking people if they said any of those sort of things in front of me.

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i love your company.

self denial + you + bday present

you said it all.

living in self denial. and i can't make out of it if it is good or bad. well, okay. its not good.... but neither it is bad, right?

would say how i'ld feel but i figured i can't take the chance.

"...its too risky, its too dangerous..."

there's just this image of you i won't ever forget when you asked me last night

"where are we right now?"

hmmm. guess we'll only know the answer next year.

guess my wallpaper.

yes. self denial. good or bad?

------------

well, as i've always said to you: i'm always here waiting for you to get out of the hole.

as long as you talk to me, say hi, or anything.. i'll talk to you. i will. i really really will. i don't dare to take the first step because i'm afraid u're not ready to talk to me ever again.

so.. the ball is in your court.

i'll wait for you to make the first move.

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you asked me if you really had to get me sth for my birthday just now. and i decided to be greedy and demanded a camera.

but you know what i really really really want from you?

*grin*

well.. i want... Paulene and you. i mean, esp when i can't hear you live on the day and for like 8 months.

u thick person. i hope you get it. haha..

well, don't look at me that way. u never know, rite. hahaha

rarhhh.

oh goodness. why didn't i drink coffee just now. *grumbles

hais. wondering whats sapping all my energy. =/ getting more lethargic everyday and i don't know why. =( and dammit i'm not 21 yet!!

hmm.. ok. i hope typing these few sentences would wake me up. its back to work. life wouldn't be this crazy after next week.

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sigh. i WANT that job. so badly, i dream of it. gee. =/

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, XIAO BAI!! =D

oh dear. this is bad. this really is bad. =(

a note of encouragement at the right point in time

*cons said...

hey dear, haven read ur blog in a long long time.. anyway i have this for you.

"The whole point about being a Christian is to be countercultural, " a certain religious sister said last night. Being countercultural means standing up and against the flow of society. It means facing opposition in what we do when we witness for our faith. Facing opposition in our lives is a sign that we are doing God's work. If we are not facing opposition at all in our lives, and everything is fine and dandy, then perhaps we are not living our faith as we are called to do so."

so hang in there and just cling on to God k! (:

u'll make it through, and emerge a stronger girl! (: u'll be in my prayers!

Sat Mar 31, 11:09:00 AM

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thanks dear. =)

its either they look at me with weird eyes, giving me the feel that i am the villain, or i think too much.

oh wells.

glad to hear that you are getting better. i'll be waiting to talk to you again... =)

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i know, i know.. haven't posted a good one up yet. sigh. a test this sat, a paper, 2 projects next week.. =( but its gonna be over soon.

gosh. please let the cramping be over soon too.

i. feel. so. weaaaaak. =(

GEM project

i can't seem to concentrate. i can't focus on my project. it is SO boring. i really wonder why i never had any violent objections when they agreed on it. I'm sure we could have found sth much simpler to do. =(

or maybe perhaps my mind has been wondering over what he said to me today. perhaps, i should make the decision and not leave it to him too.

ha.

i told him just now about how i hated to watch mr bean when i was young, how i shared his pain when people laughed at him, and he didn't know. later did i know, it was all an act to get people to laugh.

someone commented how compassionate i am, and how i have a heart for others. my MAPP assesment says i should go into the line of counseling; that my personality suited that line 80%.

so tell me, how on earth, seriously can i find my GEM project boring?

gawd. all these self denial.

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i don't know what else to think.

just one last sentence and im not going to say anything more with regards to the issue, because there's no point too, since you agree that u aren't being rational. Also, to anybody else who reads what i have written over this whole 'saga'; i don't care what impression i've formed in your minds, i don't care about what you think, i don't care about your views on how u would have handled this whole situation, given that you were me. All i know is i didn't do anything wrong: i didn't lie, i didn't mislead, i didn't make use of anybody. and God knows that. and he saw what i did.


in addition, to whatever i have told you via sms with regards to your last post:
you misinterpret me- i don't don't like you; i like you on another level different from yours.

Period.

Lamentations 3: 36

".. would not the Lord see such things?"

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thanks winnie for reminding me again. perhaps that explained why i was like that when i bump into you in the toilet yday: was wondering of negative stuff esp how God was viewing me.

you see, anonymous, i would share my views with you regarding such matters: the most important thing to note here, is that God did tell us in the bible that we should not be yoke with unbelievers.

2 cor 6:14
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers...
Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

why is that so?

do you agree that all relationships lead to marraige. and if you don't, i don't really know what else to say, but this is how i feel. and that is why it has to be taken seriously.

don't you feel that faith determines the way you live? with 2 different sets of beliefs, how do you think you can actually set out to live your happily ever after story? yes, perhaps compromise and all helps, but it is a short term solution. It won't hold when ur honeymoon period is over.

as i've always said, once bitten, twice shy. i speak from experience, and i never want to go through that again.

Christianity,to a person, is a relationship, to the world, a religion. I place God as my highest importance and i'm sure"the guy with the McDonald's smile" (no doubt) knows that. all in all, whatever you say, please do not insult my relationship with God.. because God see such things.

tired & sorry

i'm tired of it too.

tired from having to restrain how i feel. tired to bother how people feel towards me. tired abt everything and almost anything.

i really just want to throw it all away.

i'm sorry i caused you so much trouble. i'm sorry for making u feel this way now. i'm sorry for having people to keep on asking you if u are ok. i'm sorry for winning all the arguements. i'm sorry for having you to say sorry.

i'm very sorry.

thank you for hearing what i have to say. as i've said, i share the blame too.

i hope you'll read this:

i was just thinking. why am i subjecting myself to condemnation. i don't think you'll read this, but i really hope you will.

firstly, it isn't entirely my fault: i made it clear in the beginning. i drew the line so clearly right at the beginning. you feel that religion was probably a convenient reason.

then i said, if it weren't for this problem we faced, i'll consider you. i didn't say i'll agree straight away.

and then u asked me if we never had this problem, will i accept you. i told you i had to think about it. and lots of thinking, i did: i told you my feelings for u were not of the same level. I did. and i really couldn't connect on another level which you were on.

and then u said you accepted it. and i was glad.

then u started teasing me about someone else; i told you i'ld rather you.

yes, i agree. that would have been my fault from what i told you yday. The thing is, i didn't lie. At that point in time, i would have really rather you. Perhaps, you can't accept why i change my opinion. and u think i lied to you.

but i didn't. i really didn't at that point in time. the factor was time.

sigh. 1 most impt thing to note: I didn't reject you because of him.

and if you insist that i lied to you, then i'll have nothing to say.

but please, please stop condemning yourself. you don't suck. u really don't. =(

i'll still be praying for you. because, one day i know. that day will come.

i'm such a bitch.

=(

well.. i guess there's just somethings that needed to be cleared.

the truth's told, i broke the same heart again.

i am really sad. but there's really no other way out. pageant Ho was right: sometimes, you just got to do what u really have got to do.

i sincerely hope this doesn't deter you from finding out what you want to find out abt God. please don't.

i'll wait for you to get out of the hole-again.

i can't think of a title. =/ again.

i hate my teeth. esp the left front teeth. thats why i only look good on my left side.

oh wells.

------

i would have posted the picture of junhao and me. it really looks nice. haha.. but, nah. think i won't. esp since junhao has been pushing me away, ostracising me. =( hahahaha.. saying i have destroyed his reputation.

wth. he's paired up with the diva, yet he says such things?!

haha
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its all getting confused. whirlpool, they call it. going no where.

sigh.

human emotions vs beliefs- such a terrible situation.

i am a very sensitive person, esp to my surroundings. i know what is going on in your mind.

i know. and you know what? perhaps it is just something you got to handle it yourself.

they say its complicated. i really have to agree. but actually it is very simple. you just have to balance it all out and don't let stuff affect you.

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saw eileen at biz lib today. was totally shock. why would my other boss be doing in NUS. she's so lucky she saw me. haha.. otherwise she'll get lost.

i miss my yani bunni. =( i want lunch with her.

service class today was about empowerment. interesting topic. if i have the time, i'll write down my thoughts about it soon.

question to think about: is empowerment really empowerment?

another dream. a scary one.

Last night, i prayed for a sign, a word, something for you before i slept, because i know losing someone to death... is hard. and i just don't know how to ease whatever pain you have although you said you are fine.

LAst night, i had a dream.

it IS because i felt so desperate and so helpless in that dream, that i shared it with you. And yes, as i told you, it came from God. i'm very sure of that.

i don't ask for an answer. i am not looking for one. i just want you to think about it.

who do you call for help when you are just so desperate?

you just don't know how long i've been pondering about it and how important it is for me to have you to really think about this issue.

its because.. because the burden is so heavy and i am so desperate.

who do you call for help when you are hanging from a cliff?

and i pray. i continue to pray. and He'll answer it in His own timing. you just wait and see.

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yes, i wished it was us, us. but we can't yet.. not now..

a bit of DND and a bit of ahm ahm-ness

DND was a blast. =)

haha.. good job puay sannie and the rest of the comm. you guys did great despite the major hurdles. haha

would love to write more about it, but i have another paper due this monday. i manage to clear the first paper, but it toook me forever to write it. i just hope this one is not as bad. have to skip cell for this paper. =(

if i can finish this paper before tmr afternoon, i wanna go watch dance uncensored!!!

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gee. i wonder who's more ahm ahm than me. is it me who publicly write down what and how i feel (wait till i post that pic of jun hao and me up here), or the ahm ahm darlings of block A (Gaza and FUFs) who secretly reads my blog.

*thinks

hahahahaah..

anyways, sean and hao jie are super chio. chio lah! haha =)

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urgh. just burnt my tongue with coffee. *disgusted

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".. you look cute tonight. :) "

in the middle of a paper (paper 1 out of 2)

you didn't get it, did you. read it again. =) but then again, i still think you won't get it. haha haven't rubbed my cheem powers on you yet.


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sometimes i wonder.. i wonder what i'm doing and i wonder if i'm doing things right or not. Well, i guess i just have to keep myself in check. thats the only way to go about doing it.so.. far.. i think i'm on the right track. done nothing wrong. so yea... its good.

no worries, laur.

have been really distracted tonight. dunno by what. prob just an excuse so as not to get down to do work. but i have to finish this paper by tomoroow night and this sucks man. motivation, motivation, where art thou?

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just a shout out to all who reads my blog. this, includes the 6*FUFs, who seem to associate me with ahm-ness.


yes yes, i will wear a red pair of shorts just for all of you. haha! then u can just go on and on. i bet jun hao will thank me somehow. help him divert attention. haha


sheesh. sometimes, guys can be worse gossip queens than women!!


oh..what? updating of surroundings? haha.. oh. sorry. that only applies to me. heehee.


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ok.. back to service work. URGH.


i'm sick of my random ramblings. i need a good post. ok. soon, i guess.

she sat down with the rest of her friends, in her room. They started talking about almost everything in the world. SLowly, yet gradually, they seem to have forgotten that that was her room. They started to get carried away with their conversations, and have forgotten to ask for her opinion.

So she turned around; facing her lap top that was in front of her on the study desk, she aimlessly started to surf the internet.

"hey sweet," he said with a smile, ever so genuine and full of love. "are you bored?"

She could only reply with a smile, and dragged a chair that was below her desk to her right side and asked him to take a seat.

He sat.

With her eyes peeled on her computer screen, she asked, "are you enjoying yourself?"

All of a sudden, she felt a peck on her cheek.

"i enjoy myself whenever you are around, babe."

screw the order of the posts.

i have yet to blog abt my second night of SP.. of which i will soon. its the darn pics that i am wondering why it takes so long to load, till i lost my connection with blogger.

as much as my no 1 fan of my blog says he missed my coffee, i can't help but agree too. i miss making my own coffee. it's been super long since i blogged.

and my poor little head can't really contain it in anymore, so i decided to scrw the order of my posts and just write what i have to say.

---------

i'm glad. i'm glad that you are happy. i'm glad.

so with one heart more or less healed, its time to move on..

yep. since year 1, you bet. just that i didn't tell anyone. none. not a soul. i can keep secrets well, can't i? heh.

sometimes, i just wonder.. why is He doing this to me. i can't take it if the people i meet are of who i want to reciprocate, and i just simply can't.

But u see, my dear. once bitten, twice shy.

i can't. sadly. i can't- however, it won't be a complete chop. i wun let go of you. u wait and see.

-------------------

"haha you have cute tear drop eyes when you smile. :) the sweet and pure eyes."

you got me there.

first night of SP

*edit: i tried so long and hard to put the rest of the pics up. but everytime i do it, i get disconnected. so i decided to heck it. sorry all, if your face not up, not my fault!! haha

--------------

that curtain call.


THAT curtain call- the stage was ALL mine. i basked in the claps and the shouts of my friends. i dreamt of it once, and i lived it.


That curtain call. its exactly like how pgt Ho said it.


i'll never forget it in my entire life.



-a happy individual
--------------

beautiful. tmr will be better.

-----------

thanks all for coming. i hope i made ur $14 worth every cent.

my darling jasmine, troy, dinah and celest: thanks for ur BEAUTIFUL 15 red roses. I LOVE THEM SO FREAKING MUCH!! i dun need many flowers. i just needed yours. hahaha!!

my sweetest ling, bin and ne: thank u guys for coming down.. sorry couldn't talk to u guys long enough.. i hope you guys enjoyed it. you guys rock my socks. esp with the pink roses. i love it. i really do. each rose stands for each of you.

my darling church frens: thanks all for coming down. u guys rock my socks. =D

my cousins: love you guys. i still waiting for my entire ecosystem. hahaha..

Thanks Heng fai, for supporting, encouraging and hearing me whine all these while. Thank you. =)

Thank you Kenneth. Haha.. although your roses were late, I still love them anyway. =)

thank you family for supporting me silently altho sometimes u dun mean those nasty things you say about me in this production.

corn: aren't u that proud of me?
father & mother: thank you for naming me after ling qing xia. hahaha.. i'm glad i made you both proud.
jo: thanks for going through my lines with me at the beginning. haha tho ur reading totally.. er.. ok nvm. haha

most imptly, thank you God for this talent. all glory goes to You.

SP. the process.

"caught a bit of your rehearsal just now and well, although i should tell you on friday, now also can.."

" i still remember the first time u got ur script and showed me. U were so excited although you tried to hide it =) Sat and Sun is a dream come true for you. And from what i saw,u'll be great."

it's finally here. =D my first ever grand scale production that i wished and longed for. and that msg totally perked me up.

i believe that i'ld be too tired to blog abt such a life changing experience tomorrow night, i might as well do it today, since i'ld be skipping classes for bump in tmr. =)

still remember bona calling me when i was out celebrating seokie's bday at IMM during buaya week, to rush back for an audition. the tone in his voice excited me. Someone believed in me.

that audition, which i treated it lightly, without the expectation of getting it. Tris' sian reaction. (whats new)

in level 3, scooping ben&jerry ice cream for evelyn to ben. received an sms from tris. "you got in."

i screamed.

ran out of the pantry and saw a stunned ronald. " wah lao."

haha.

our first meeting. tris says "you. prostitute."

"uh.. what?!"

"yea. u lead."

0.0

the breaking of news to father and family. the family disagreements and all. ha.

" ok la. fine la. don't like me to stay in hall. on that day when u watch me perform, dun stand up, point at me and tell the world, 'thats my daughter/sister'. "

incessant rehearsals. the travelling up and down. the interupted photoshoot. (WAH LAO). the ugly posters and banners. the trailer.

and its going to be held in 2 days.

i enjoyed the whole process. thanks guys.

---------

ticket sales: 400 /450 each night.

everybody's working their ass off. esp choonie.

choonie: dude, i wun let your set down. i'll bring life to it. =) your hardwork won't be a waste.

wah lao. all of a sudden i damn stress.
hahaha

jiayou guys. lets live our dream. =D

it hurt when i read that sentence. and it couldn't hurt more to know how much support and encouragment u need now- and i am not in the position to give it to you.

but i can't be selfish. i will give you the space and time you need.

----------
sometimes certain issues that seem so easy can be so hard. somehow, i feel so unfaithful and so useless.

but everything is in His hands, rite?

i really really really want you to know about God. about how great He is, how deep His love for you is, how He wants to support you through your difficult times...

and so, i tear again-
the burden, oh! so heavy... it hurts.

i think i shall wait for you instead. i won't take the initiative any more.lest i get disappointed with ur responses for i don't know what reason. its ur time, ur call.

the ball is in your court, now.

sp + MA test

great. 2 days of full runs and i'm so drained. and it was 50% and 85% energy level.

last nite run was really good i guess, altho tris said he'll only pay $11.50 to watch, but esther told us he was so impressed with us for our Act 1. =) its really nice to hear praises for sth you worked hard for. But i felt it in Act 1, i think we all did great. i'm so proud of my fellow cast. =)

well, its just 2 more weeks. Oh! we'll be wonderful.

somehow, i think i'll perform better on sat then sun, because sunday morning i'll have like swollen puffy eyes, just like how my eyes are today.

i shall just ignore the need to blog about how my right lens dropped off on to my knee during Act 1. just thank God, Christine knew what to do when she went back stage. i need to go send my lens for cleaning. need to do it nnext week. can't afford to let that hapen on the real day. i'm seriously considering doing without my lens, and specs, of course. sigh. i hate my poor vision.

thankfully, i still managed to crash study on my accounting test last nite this morning with my puffy swollen eyes and oh-so-tired body, altho nothing much really got in, and i felt that i was ready to give up this 25% of my grade- the paper was do-able. or so i think. .. but whatever, thank you God. =)

altho there's no rehearsal tonight, i have to pia my case study for tmr. lots of things to do still. .....lots of things on my mind. sigh.

i'm STILL pmsing. =(

------

Ramly burger rawks. =D

don't be sorry. just.. don't change the way things were.. ok?

the answer to your question.

siew wen told me a joke.

i laughed. till i cried... i think i finally gave in. this is much harder than i tot it would be, and i thought i had dealt with it 1 sem ago. i need corrective surgery. just like how xiaohua went for his lasic corrective surgery and how they "forced open his cornea" and how pain it was. =( its the same. exactly the same.

i dun noe how to tell you. but i know you want the answer. i've been thinking about it esp since sat morning, after i read ur msg. if it wasn't for Hweeying's call to ask me to open the gate for her in the morning, i wouldn't have got up to read ur msg.

perhaps it may seem that i am playing the issue up a bit on my part. but it really isn't intentional. 0% intentional

i've been thinking about it. long and hard. told you how frustrated i was and all that, for not being able to give u an answer directly. but i think i came up with an answer.

i think my problem is that i really really really like you. but its not on the level that you are on. and thats basically why its so hard for me to come to a conclusion about your question. it is because i dun want to hurt you. but i think the hurt is inevitable. i tried, in my opinion minimising it. but apparently, i don't think its diminishing anything. and for that, i end up hurting myself.

no, i'm not saying i'm noble, in that sense; neither am i coming up with excuses, nor making myself appear pitiful and so that your heart will melt or whatever. i just want to tell you how i realy feel, i also want to tell you how much i treasure our friendship which i told you upteen times.

you're really one of those jewels found in a beach of sand, or whatever they call it... but i can't keep it for myself because you deserve a better girl who can really appreciate how to wear an emerald stone.

you still are my bestest friend. and i hope i am yours too.
-------

you'll never know how much tears i shed for you.

i can't think of a title. =/

i must... i must i must..not let such matters get to me.

i can't believe i've been brooding over this since yday and its causing me to feel so pain inside and headache-y.

but whyyy. why am i having such a reaction towards this. i hate feeling this way. its getting to my mood.

ok lets just hope i'm just pms-ing.

if not, i really have to learn how to let go and insulate myself from such matters.

----------

yday's cell group session was good. =) minnie did a good job leading the cell, and i'm proud of him. anyways, altho i never led before too, i think we are both slowly learning how to do so. I mean as long as we got out motive right, i.e. to want the youths themselves to grow both spiritually and in numbers, we will be able to acheive it.

to put God first before everything- thats what we learnt yday. thats exactly the same thing i've been telling people these weeks. With Him in the centre, everything will fall into the right place, simply because.. He's God. =)

you see, sweet... i really rather you. that was an easier decision to make then the question of which u lied that you didn't have to know the answer anymore.

honestly, i haven't come to a conclusion. i know you want an answer. i will give it to you. just give me time to see what my heart says. its not an easy question. it really isn't.

----------

all of a sudden i feel my life has somewhat turned into a holland v drama serial episode.

me to emcee?

*☃* [b] {i: good luck :^t@V says:
i can't teach them how to be funny though... very hard lol... being funny is something more natural. u are funny that's why i ask u
aur [♠.A.C.E.R.S.♠] [FOBC] : yoohoo.. 'motivation', wru?? says:
i am??
laur [♠.A.C.E.R.S.♠] [FOBC] : yoohoo.. 'motivation', wru?? says:
awww...
laur [♠.A.C.E.R.S.♠] [FOBC] : yoohoo.. 'motivation', wru?? says:
thats so sweeeet
laur [♠.A.C.E.R.S.♠] [FOBC] : yoohoo.. 'motivation', wru?? says:
hhahaha
*☃* [b] {i: good luck :^t@V says:
u are. u can be funny on stage. that's i told u try for sp audition


talking to bona really boosts my ego. =)

you need friends like that in life. to push you to do things you thought you were to shy to do.

thanks bona. it meant a lot to me. really.

oh. i forgot to add. father thinks i have a bf. and i dunno why, but he seem so happy. he probably is relieved at the thought that his second daughter can be married off. hmm. looks like jo-smo's plans to 'tell' on me has been thwarted. her face when father said "good la! got bf then i dun need to send her back good wat!", was priceless. that awkward silence before screaming "NOOOOOO!!!", i'll pay her money for the same scenario again.

just a quick one on cny

happy CNY everybody! =D hope you guys are having a great one? i am! =)

ok fine prob not for the fact that cny = mid term break. and its going to be over. urgh. lots of projects and stuff to be done. haven't started on my term paper. quite screwed i think. =( but i'll get thru it lah. should be. haha

well, this cny is a good one. Lunch of the year at ah kong's house has always been good. haha.. we are looking forward to the next lunch of the year. =)

so finally we can all start wearing the clothes we bought from bangkok. all the preetty preeettyy dresses that is marked up 4 times the cost price here in spore. phwoar. siao. *heart attack.

wat again, got me thinking this year, was the particular conversation i had with cousin henry: Why SIA?

perhaps, after talking to him, all of a sudden the decision i chose to make for the rest of my life (subject to the company's decision, of course) seems to be very mundane. it doesn't seem that challenging as i thought it would be. Plus the fact that they haven't gotten back to me, adds to my disappointment as well as the sianness of it all. =/

well, i know that is the festive season and what not, so i should just try to be a bit more patient. And having been rejected for stan chart's intern programme too, quite discouraged me because the job scope of a corporate affairs intern sounds sooooo interestinG! a pity my personality doesn't suit the job, or so it says.

but anyway, its time to write more cover letters. i badly need a summer internship. (for money and experience) and i badly want to fly to sweden.

It ties in altogether, you know. i seriously think MNO2302 really is a good module. it analyses how people climb to the top of the coporate ladder. how people in different eras go about doing it. at least thats what i'm soing for my Q & A session this wed. haha.. i'm starting to think if i should major in HR instead. =/ but not that interesting leh. sian.

alrite. Life's gonna be busy. Most importantly, i'm happy.

-----------------

a man with a dream is kinda sexy.

GE's vitality curve and my thoughts

it felt like eons since i last posted a good post. haha.. just came back from school. was practically trying to keep myself awake for both classes. ain't sure why i'm so tired but i think it has sth to do with yday's walking all over bugis. hee. (and i still havent found a leather top)

this afternoon's HRM class was quite interesting from the second half. we talked about GE. i mean, i didn't prepare for the discussion, so i couldn't click with the presentation. no idea what the hell they were talking about. but i must said the ang mohs who presented the topic was great. and i love that UK girl's voice. i wanted to go up and tell her that, but i think rationality got the better of me. haha.

GE's vitality curve: good or bad?

20-70-10. i seriously feel that its a good thing. why keep the bottom 10% then if they are not progressing.
demoralise souls is an issue to face. but there's really nothing a company can do unless it focuses on getting the best. u lose the focus, u lose the drive, u lose the point, u lose the profits, u lose the company.

Thus, the company should instill the culture, beliefs and values of that of the employees. I guess it has something to do with branding. It all ties together. why would u want to apply into GE if you knew they have this system and not like it? well, unless it is because it will look good on ur resume. haha. that was what i was thinking.

perhaps i am naive, because i'm not there in the real world as yet; or i'm just plain unambitious: salary isn't as important as the fulfilment of the job. Of course, there must have ay least a basic agreeable pay, but in terms of promotion, i feel it's alright, unless i don't get any recognition in my work.

ok. i think i'm naive.

well, it is "the job that does not suit you", not "you who don't suit the job". I strongly feel that to be an employee of such a prestigious company, there is a must to have a strategic fit between your own personality and the company's culture. If you don't agree with the culture then dun deprive others who do.

Therefore, with regards to the vitaluty curve that GE is famous of, i feel that there is a strong need to monitor the situation. is it fair to sack a person who's trying so hard but yet not going anywhere? in a company's view point, it is. but to me, it's not. Then again, who said the world was fair?

This vitality curve is GE's competitive advantage, no doubt. without it, there won't be today's GE. the company would just have to look on how to maintain this advantage, which is to instill the company's values and beliefs in the employees themselves, as well as to keep the middle 70% people happy. especially those in the top 60-70%, of which i proudly said to end today's tutorial discussion. =)

ok... GE, employ me. =)

---------

happy valentine's, everybody!
feel the love. =)

i felt it all of a sudden. still, should i pursue it?

hmm.. nah. i think i shan't.

yaaaaaaaay!

FINALLy!! hahaha..

finally i can breathe. =) happpyyyy. i wouldn't say we did a very good job of our presentation but i think we are not bad, since we can answer all the questions that were shot at us. =)

think i deserve a good break before the crazy weeks start again.

-------

CONGRATS my darlings for a job well done for O's! give Him the glory! =)

proj mtg + SP

wah. this week has been crazy.

i think i never had such a terrible proj to do before; where the time frame is so limited and the group members can't be in agreement. how terrible can that get.

but it got better today. finalised the whole report. although i still have some queries. guess we'll answer them tmr morning.

and yes, through this proj grp, i have a new nickname: Hamkey = Hamster + Monkey

like wth. stupid YJ.

working halfway with my slides now. oh goodness. i'm in the "i'm damn sleepy" mode again.

--------

Sp getting quite physical now. getting orh chehs and all. sigh. well, at least we all get our lines already. =) just want to say how proud i am of Chris. i think she's happening to have memorised all her lines! so many la!! haha..

oh well. we'll be good. we'll be wonderful. we'll be marvelous.

CMB concert! =D

well done CMB!! =D that was superb! i'm so proud of all of yoU! yaaayyy!!

---------

i think i.. er.. fell. uh oh. =/

stress is the word.

sigh.

all the projects coming in. its crazy man.

---------

did i mention that Tris booked all of us in on v day? how sad can we get. no dates this year, then. so sad.

oh well.

........for hall!

haha!

dainty.

i wanted to blog this last nigh, or this morning, rather. but it was getting really late, so i saved it and decided to do it now before having a lil nap.

[C-Towner][ the greener grass ] : kenneth // Life is fragile says:
u are more of dainty lor


dainty [ˈdeinti] adjective
small or fragile and attractive
Example: a dainty little girl

well. that made my day. hahahaha. sounds really demure. except for the fragile part. hahaha like macham so weak.

stupid uncle bahkwa.
----------------

oh wells. i realised God is opening doors for me. He has opened 2 doors, as far as i know. and i'm really happy that i can share His love, while telling me subtly that thats not the one i'm going to be with.

so. wait lor. haha

an inconvenient truth?

if al gore can give such talks, why can't the gospel be preached that way too. think about it. they can both be called "an inconvenient truth" , but this one can be called.. "an inconvenient truth...with an ultimate solution"

--------

i'm not stupid. i still sense it.

1 year ago.

i still think its pretty.

for my 21st. =)

i want one of those pretty cameras for my 21st for my exchange trip during the later part of the year. =)

just check out the europe map. norway, denmark, UK, Germany...

i want Germany's jersey. particularly number 20. =D

--------

need sleep. quite badly.

=)

all of a sudden, i feel like crying. the funny thing is i dunno why..

and then suddenly..


[TeamSheares][SWOC][♠.A.C.E.R.S.♠][ABC][BAD Boys][2 GAZA] hAoJiE: " Be the man " - Weijie says:
dun let ppl bully u leh....got big brother poh here....taking care of u

[TeamSheares][SWOC][♠.A.C.E.R.S.♠][ABC][BAD Boys][2 GAZA] hAoJiE: " Be the man " - Weijie says:
wo zao ni!

how sweet is that! =)

rite. no tears. =)

sometimes its not about dress sense, there are many other factors to consider as well.

sigh.

super random ramblings

father missed the turn at the expressway so he asked me to go home myself tmr.

sheesh. ok.

----------

i finally opened and use the cup daryl gave me on my bday!! i love my minnie mouse cup!! its about 16cm tall!! haha...

i should go compare cups with dominique.. see who has the taller cup. haha..

----------

i made fai tell me the whole prison break story so i wouldn't be a slave to the series no more. there's just no time.

heh. yea.. its not no patience. its no time.

----------

sp site coming up by tmr.. thats what they say. let u guys see it once its up. =)

sp runs start on sunday. gawd i have many any lines to catch up with.

my darlin neighbour joyce, is my role model.

-------
i think i can feel the motivation coming back. its coming. i feel it.

i miss my jc friends all of a sudden..

=(

2 rows in front of me.

i just came back from school. haha.. altho i am still in school. okok fine. hahahaha..

yes. i am feeling better but i still have those a little spates of coughing here and there during lectures today then jamie will say "eh.. shut up."

wah lao. sorry la. hahahahah

today MA lect was quite "...". lots of figures and reasons. didn't really pay much attention becos i was sooooo sleepy. slept quite late the night before.. had my first gossip "updating of surroundings" session with my wing mates, since i moved back to hall. and coughed myself to sleep (again). so yea. was really tired this morning.

BUT. i was totally awake after the break. no. i didn't had coffee. haha it was this ang moh guy sitting 2 rows in front of me and he had "schneider"'s hair!! GAWD!! its freaking nice... alvin offered to help me take a photo of his hair. but.. dun want la. so paiseh. hmm.

OM lect was freaking boing. i felt like i was in some engine school. but anyways, 2 rows in front of me sat this really freaking cute girl. haha.. hmm. lesbian tendencies. oh well.

had milk tea during oM lect. which perhaps explains why i'm quite hyped up. think i'll go do some work now.. i suspect the energy will run out once i start reading the requisites. shit.

--------------

a teenager who acts as if she's older- but deep in her, lies within a child- inquisitive, influenced, vulnerable.

"La Poopay. La Poopay est dan la joujou. Merci. "

2 fake stories. 2 different emotions.

Tutorials start this week and i just came back from class. alvin, angeline and i have got a super good MA tutor. Hopefully, i'll do well in MA! =)

today's human resource mgt class wasn't as boring as i thought it would be, altho i know my brain was sleeping a good 20 min while the lecturer was "singing her own lullaby". i read the readings this week, but damm! somebodywill always cut in before i can speak. looks like participation marks will have a lil prob this sem? maybe. but rarrrh. i read the damm readingS!!

i sat next to this really cool USC girl today. although i didn't really talk to her much until discussion, i enjoyed my conversation with her. don't know if it was her voice, accent, or her smile or all 3 combined, it felt very nice to talk to her. However, our conversation ended quite abrupt, but it was okay. i still felt happy after talking to her. During the course of our conversation, somehow, i felt that the way we talked was quite fake. seems ironic, i noe. but it was a nice but fake conversation. hmm..

immediately after our conversation got cut off, i was walking towards the staircase to go back to hall when i met this new girl from our block. i said hi. she just smiled and look away. and so i decided to be nice and ask her " where u going?" and her fren answered for her their destination and i was like "..oh." She didn't say anything.

In a desperate attempt to be nice or to get myself out of a weird situation, i called, "will u be back in hall for dinner? we can have dinner together!" i guess that it was nice that she stopped, turn around, gave me a sad face and said " erm.. no.. i don't think i'll be back for dinner." and turned ard, walked away. so i just said " its ok. another day lor."

then she told her fren(in front of me)" i have to go back to hall and put my staff down first." so i offered to help and then she had this paisehness expression which i don't know why. but u could feel that she wanted u to help her but for fomality sake (?) she decided to whine a bit. in the end she did and she said thanks and walk off.

well, i dun think i can fault her that much. but as i carried her finance textbook with 2 cables and whathaveu back to hall, i analysed my 2 situations. and i was wondring if this was a cross cultural thingy or was it the medcine i just took that cause me to entertain such useless thoughts.

2 fake stories. 2 different emotions.

...i dunno.hmm.

ok. time to sleep.

urgh

ok. taggy's up. xj, dun complain. haha.. how often u come here anyway. haha.. eh photos haven't load la. paiseh. let u noe once i load. =x

--------

i'm feeling like crap these few days. dammit. please please please let me get better. it sucks to cough for like 2-3 hours each night before i get exhausted and go to sleep, and not a good one, even.

feel like some old woman.

i skipped class yday because i was having such a bad headache in the morning i couldn't leave my bed. =( i fig that that was the first class i missed in my 2 years of uni life. oh wells.

can't skip anymore. not like i can afford it. i have lots of things to do by tmr. oh gawd. the headache is back. =(

sometimes i just wonder what makes certain guys such asses.

after hearing it, i feel disgusted that i once associated myself with you.

-----------------

the throat is super itchy. bleahk. slept for a good 4 hours in the afternnoon, enough to sleep the fever away but certainly not the itch. =/

father and mother was suppose to come to visit me in hall today. but.. father said he cleaned the whole house today and he's too tired to come over.. =(

oh wells. i never noe what to do if i dun have my darling neighbours around me.

*reminder: better tell jamie to take caution once we are in sweden. i hope i dun kill her. hahahaha...

--------------

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh. saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

urgh.

i'm feeling lousy.

this sucks.

dan + cover letter + hypothesis

my darling cave man cousin daniel has a gf.

haha! so funny lah. so much for complaining to me those days when we were working. =) happy for u dude. =)

---------

i have finally completed my cover letter. =) proud of myself. thanks all for the encouragement. hahahhaahha!!

oh well.. guess have to send it for a check before applying. i'll pray real hard before i send it.

----------

i think i have some disorder within me. i don't understand why i get tired easily. i think its either:

a) not exercising
b) too hyper and thus, enegry depletes faster.

i think i'll test out option b first.

lianyee. u take over the crazy me from here.

*grin*

i'll just tone down now...

2nd day of school (for me)

just came back from intern briefing.

just realised i'm still half done with my cover letter. urgh. can't seem to get down to doing it. =/

disgusted with myself.

its only the 2nd day of school for me and i can already feel the pressure. disgusting lehhhhhh..

gg to watch joycee stretch her long legs now! so proud of her. =)

prob later.

---------------

who wants tix to see me act prostitutish? tix at $14. 7 30pm. UCC.
sms me ok? =) (eccluding hall peeps)

lion + today =)

i saw this pic at yahoo main page. i think its really sweet! =) hahah.. i want a lion to kiss me toooooooooooooooooooooooo.

...oh sheesh. not THAT 'lion'. i want a real wan. and i hope it doesn't bite my face in the process. haha..

mmm.. i feel happy today. =) i really do. i think its because i managed to wake up for bfast, and managed to sleep for quite long hours. ok. my fav day is tuesday. =) i hope it stays that way. haha..

went out with liannie, winnie and xiao hua just now.. we had crystal jade for lunch. it was soooo goooood. and somehow it made me feel loved. i dunno why. =) oh wells. i look fwd to more outings like these!

sp later.. better go remember more lines.

------------

random thought of the day: if you think i'm just cute, young and brainless; u should really think again. i'm very much deeper than u think i am.

first night in hall (again)

here i am. sitting in my new room A513. smiling to myseld, thinking how wonderful the sem is going to be.

until i started thinking of what i just saw, what i just digested, on top of what that has already happened.

i just told liannie and winnie that it doesn't bother me. True, honestly, it doesn't. i was quite surprised of how i justified my feelings to them actually. -.- altho i meant every word that i said, it just feels so wrong to say that. simply because i've always been preaching about sth else..

i just realise today that not everything can happen the way it were before. no longer can i hold a much decent conversation with you. no longer can we have such talks that i used to enjoy. its just.. weird. and it's just sad.

Thinking about it, i think it goes for you too. i really can't talk or want to meet up with you anymore.. i really have no more feelings for you as well, and i am that glad that we are no longer together actually because u change so much. u have change from the innocent sweet guy i noe to this stranger i didn't believe i once loved. its hard for me, u noe. it really is.

well, i think its because i'm tired thats why i'm feeling so low down. oh well. sp has been moving quite slowly. i am quite afraid not only for myself but for everybody else as well.. we have lots to do. On top of that, there's those 3 non examinable modules to think of. =/ and ministries problems to think about as well.

no, i'm not saying i'm the most poor thing on this earth. certainly not. there is just many things left to consider now during this period of time, i guess.

SP made me realise how far i will go. Yes, acting as a prostitute is really a huge challenge for me. In fact, i'm freaking uncomfortable abt it. i'm just thinking now if it was wrong for me to accept this role? but what can i do about it. sigh. if corn noes about this, i'm sure i'll get it from her. but i do love to act. i do love to perform. but really. how far must/should i go? is it ok?

well.. i'm in hall, my class 95 is on, it's raining, it feels nice and good now.. i think i'll just go take the hairdryer mummy made me bring and blow dry my hair.. then i'll sleep. hopefullly, i wun feel as crap as i feel now.

good. its raining, so the level 6 guys can't play their soccer on the rooftop so i can go sleep peacefully. =)

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hey.. i really hope u're okay ok? i mean.. u can talk to me, u noe.. i'm always there to listen for you, just like how u're always there to hear me whine.. =) and seriously, if i think u are great, than like whatever with whoever who said you are not! Because you are. really. *hugs

an Overview of the year

so i finally can get down to blog my first post of the year. =)

firstly, i feel that this year- the year that gives me the intangible chop of me entering a new phase in my life- is going to pass really fast. hmm.. my time line for this year would look like this:

Jan- Mar: SP
Apr: exams
May-Aug: Intern
sept-Dec: exchange

thats pratically the whole year. hahaha..


so a new year, a new start. thats what we always say every year. which means a new set of resuolutions.. which include trying to squeeze into corn's levis so we dun have to spend more money. haha.. well, looking my age is perhaps one of the more impt ones, i guess..


alrite.
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dude.. u totally disgust me. but anyway, thanks for bringing the drive in my life.

A513.. here i come. =)

the true meaning of Christmas

this year, as usual, christmas starts really early for me. i start dreaming about it since the start of exams. i can't stand christmas songs playing while i'm studying: probably because christmas = holiday? and studying obviously is not a word to describe the holidays.

So, christmas.. father asked me one of those common questions- to a Christian-a few days ago: What does Christmas really mean?

And i just feel that this being an apt period of time to share it with you ardent fans of my blog (hehe).

i read in one of those articles by those columnist in the Today newspaper regarding christmas, she said her friend always complained about Christmas because it just wasn't complete without the snow; of which she replied " the last time i checked, Bethleham was bright and sunny when Jesus was born, and there was no sign of snow." that comment got me in stiches!

Christmas, father said, was about love. as mundane as that sounds, have u ever wondered deeper into that matter?

"for God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever who believes in Him will have eternal life and never die." - John 3 :16

With that great, undying love He had for us, he gave us other gifts that came along with it as well: Hope, Peace and Joy. Will we ever be happy without these gifts? the answer is No.

So today, i acted as Mary in church for the children to watch. true, the story commonly told, would probably not be anything new for most of us. But today, i analysed the scenes we acted. To conclude, this is the start of the greatest love story ever told.

i feel that one of the most important points out of everything, including the amazement, the wonder, the awesomeness of how the whole event took place- has got to be the very fact that Jesus was born in a manger, in a stable. Like as if taking on the form of man and going though this life on earth was an easy thing to do, the King was born in a stable. the humility, none can deny.

As we performed roughly what happened in the story to the children,by faith i believe that the msg was effectively being communicated accross. and by faith, the children will grow up to be men and women of God.

so, Merry CHristmas, beloved. May you really feel the real spirit of Christmas this year. May you not dwell in what the world thinks of santa claus, reindeers and talking snowman- but you'll think of a baby in a manger, in a stable filled with animals, where the 3 wise men and their royal gifts and the shepherds- on their knees- in front of the manger; the choir of Angels singing "Glory to the new born King!"; the brightly shining stars that filled the night sky; how the whole world rejoiced; what a magnificent sight it had been! =D

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Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in your heart

Somewhere deep inside you is where Christmas really starts

So give your heart to Jesus, and you'll discover when you do

that Christmas, is really Christmas, for you. =)

you + BKK + photoshoot + random

i think you hate me now. its really painful not being able to talk to you. but if that helps you, i guess i won't say anything. i don't think i'll ever take initiative to msg you anymore unless needed. i really don't want you to hate me more.

and my only wish is that we'll still be friends without being awkward. well, it takes 2 hands to clap.

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Bangkok was a blast. =) i shopped and spent all of corn's money. heh. think she's unhappy i bought more stuff than her. but i'm sorrrrrrrrryyy!! i can't help it. i promise to return u money when i start earning laaah. =/

saw a dominatrix outfit in platinum, and i started running away, from the shop. it was too scary. too many tikos were in the shop. and tris scolded me for not getting it because he said they have to go online and find one. shit. i'm damn scared on what i'm gonna wear.

on the other hand, we had another photo shoot on monday night. i think i still look fat and gross. its all Tris fault for treating us pizza before the shoot (but i'm not blaming him) anyways, i just have to exclaim that photoshop is the best technological invention ever. Not only does it make me look REALLY thinner, it provides entertainment to everybody who saw how my stomach went big and small continuously.

SOMEONE, please tell me why rag needs publicity shots for? i'm so sorry, but it quite pissed me off because nobody could think of why they needed to shoot at that hour; causing me to miss the train and my dad had to risk the rain and pick me up all the way from home. SOMEONE, please enlighten me.

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finishing school is quite helpful. and i just have to wonder about networking. well, i guess i'll go wrap christmas presents now. remind me to give my 2 cents worth on that matter.

its going to be a crazy 2 weeks before the week ends.

and xj is back!! yay!! when's adrian coming back? hmmm.. =)

dear you...

i just want to tell you that your letter touched my heart.

you're the sweetest. you know that. =)

i've been cooking lunch fo 3 days already( with father's help, but i did 90% of it because he was on the phone like throuout). haha =) proud of myself! =)

i can't wait for bkk. gawd. can't the days like pass faster..

ooo..sp rehearsals.. gosh i'm so excited about that too lah. haha hope it wun die down.

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resume finally done.

life is good.

yay.. each day draws nearer = bkk trip is nearer.

haha.

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Jamie sent me the exchange list yday or the day before or sth lah, but i opened it today. i am so excited! *jumps ard

anyways, despite being s excited, i still had a tinge of disappointment when i saw the UK unis has quite limited spacing. and i'm quite sure they are quite popular, so i might not get a place in UK. =( nvm la. go sweden. ehhhehehehehe...

oh wells. going to have a fun filled week. whole week filled with darlings to go out with. i have yet to contact my KC darlings. =) all of a sudden i feel like i have so many friends..

hahah.. yay. life's good. life's really good.

*smiles.

exams: OVER + jo + ...merry christmas. =)

WOW!! my exams are finally over!! woohoo!! *jumps ard

i think i studied hard this semester. of course, i have not much of an excuse except for jo- no hall activities or whatnot. haha..

ok i hope my CAP can be pulled up-i really need to pul it up, it can't go down much further. haha

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So sometimes, we asked God why. amidst of all the praying and the faith that we all had, things still happens the way they are. so why did she do badly? and why did they change their mind then?

so it is of human nature to question God, and most of the time, it tests our faith. But, what are we going to do about it? That, that is the most important question.

So, i recall that particular MKC session we had, that bex was telling the children about how God answers prayer.

Amy Carrmicheal had brown eyes and she always wanted her mother's blue eyes. Having heard about God's faithfulness in answering prayers at a young age of 8, she prayed to God with all her heart, mind and soul that He'll make her brown eyes blue the next morning. And so, she went to sleep.

She woke up the next morning, obviously disappointed and couldn't figure out the reason why.

Amy was in her twenties when she became a full time missionary to India. As controls were quite strict among the villages, no outsider- except Indians- were allowed to live in these villages. Thus, Amy applied cocoa and coffee powder all over her face and covered her hair with a scarf. It was then that Amy thank God for her brown eyes. Without her brown eyes, no amount of change can make her look like an Indian and reach out to the people there.

(of course la, lets not talk about contact lenses)

So, there is a reason for everything, and everything works for the good for those who love Him (Rom 8:28). Sure, we are dissapointed. but we can't do anything about it, but pray that woman knows how badly she's done and strive to change her stream next year, which i overheard her telling her fren on the phone the other night (THANK GOD)

So apart from relying on the sports school, we still had to choose 6 other schools, for just in case purposes. as we chose, we realised that she over qualified for many of those schools. we figured out that if she had done a lil better, she would only be able to qualify for the schools that were not as good. being the top of the stream now, she was able to apply for the better schools!! =)

Well, as we said, if it is not His will, we shall just continue to put our faith in Him. Besides, He has proven HImself to be good and true over my last 20 years.. and i love my Jesus so much. =)

well, i figured out something else too: my sister, she, teaches me to be humble.

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christmas is here, i can feel it! =) i look forward to a white christmas next year... father gave the green light to exchange, and i'm sooooooooooo soooooooooo soooooooooo looking forward to it!!

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yep, i told u i read ur blog and i really want to tell u this:

dude! where's ur confidence!!! wat life changing all!! HARLO. if you don't think u are, you won't be! sheesh.. =\ a bit sad that u said such things.. anyways, yea guess will settle it after ur exams, meanwhile study hard k. =)