yawn

ahhhhhhh..

i think there's sth wrong with me la.. i decided to sleep early yday. but after trying to study.. or rather reading up for lecture later.. i went to bed at 12 30. thinking how fresh and ready for breakfast i was gg to be the next day. HOWEVER, i couldn't get to sleep la!!!! like !!!!! i cannot sleep?! like wth. gee.. it was damn bad that i got so frustrated with myself, got up and read my econs notes abt game theory, of which i got a headache theeafter, and managed to sleep. haha.. i think the headache was due to the sitting position, and leaning my head on my red ikea pillow rather than the wall, so it was uncomfortable.

anyways, i struggled out of bed at 8 40 today, just to go down to get breakfast. haha.. breakfast seems to be getting quite bleahk already..

anyways, i really thank God i was in SA for my first 3 months... haha.. at least i can consider those older Saints as my seniors...

we were suppose to hand in our SS Assignment yday and this sr from my hall asked me to help him with it by letting me show him my asignment. the assignment was about listing 10 questions to some general during ww2. and so i showed him.and wth. he actually criticised my work la. i'm like how nice, sharing with u wat i did, and u just criticise it? like HGFJTRDTRDJYGKUHY u. uRGH!! prob i noe i really am that lousy, but it doesn't qualify u to criticise me, after all i really spent my heart on it la ok. i tried reading all the cheem cheem readings and all.. and its blardy history la ok. eeeeeediot. ass.

he totally destroyed my whole mood during the whole lecture. so pissed. not because i'm sensitive here.. but it really sucks to hear such things abt ur work when u put effort into it.

i was gg down the steps of the LT, thinking of saying a good bye to my frens, both from SA, the girl from my tut class, and the guy from my legal group, who were like chao enthu sitting right in front of the lect today which is like so not them. anyway, i didn't bother, because i didn't have the mood. but ivan called my name, asked me to wait up while he walked together with me. while complaining to him, he said is a very loud voice, "WHERE'S ALEX? dare to bully my junior.. LET'S GO FIND HIM NOW!" haha.. he made me laugh. haha.. because he's so skinny and he's anyhow-ing away. haha..

anyways, ivan gave me a lift back to hall from the LT (its far) and before i left, said again "WHERE's ALEX??" haha.. sounds damn childish, but i think he made me feel happier. haha..

thanks ivan, sheena n another SA sr who was there..

late for MNO!! bubye!!

i really had a weird dream today.. u were in it.. i'm having mixed feelings..somehow, i wished it for another reason, then again, that was more than enough. but will we ever get to experience it for the right reason? perhaps yes, perhaps not.

i am a raindrop.

i. am. a. raindrop.

:D

i was talking to winnie darling who lives opp me while standing at our own doorway a few min ago, and we both decided to blog this revelation down. :D

while walking to the toilet to brush our teeth, i told winnie "eh. i love ur blogskin"

of which, we started talking abt her analogy of rain as blessings from God.. and then we started talking abt her phrase "me in a raindrop" instead of "me in a nutshell". so i decided to show off some of my geog intellect by saying "do you know that a raindrop is made up of dust..??" and the condensation nuclei and sorts. (mr chen's gg to be really proud of me! :D)

so while both of us were in the midst of brushing our teeth, and when delphia entered the toilet with the intention of peeing, winnie exclaimed,

"we are also made out of dust!!"

"..and dust attracts water!!"

and both our eyes grew really wide. and we started saying really loud.

"we are raindrops because we attract blessing which is water!!" (Psalm 23:6)

revelation.. and just a few seconds ago...

Princess Winz - i love the rain and cooling weather. i miss the beach!! says:
laureen\
Princess Winz - i love the rain and cooling weather. i miss the beach!! says:
i got somemore revelation
Princess Winz - i love the rain and cooling weather. i miss the beach!! says:
hahaha
laur: Who compares to You? says:
wah
laur: Who compares to You? says:
on the roll man
laur: Who compares to You? says:
hahaha
laur: Who compares to You? says:
wat wat wat
Princess Winz - i love the rain and cooling weather. i miss the beach!! says:
dust ( we) + water vapour ( water =life) = Raindrop ( rain = blessing)
Princess Winz - i love the rain and cooling weather. i miss the beach!! says:
therefore we are given life by God to become a blessing
Princess Winz - i love the rain and cooling weather. i miss the beach!! says:
wahahaha....
Princess Winz - i love the rain and cooling weather. i miss the beach!! says:
i am a blessing!
Princess Winz - i love the rain and cooling weather. i miss the beach!! says:
so are you

if its anything i thank God the most for in Sheares, its a sister in Christ who stays opp me. :)

i love winnie.

..and of course my other neighbours who take care of me, esp the one with the toothache living in 512. hope u feeling better u lemonny connie.

get well soon connie bonnie!!

i just want to lie in your arms, let the world pass me by and let ur love overflow in me.

i cluubbeed. hahahaahha in Blk A's lounge. (in other words, i went lounge-ing)

hhmmm... not that it is a bad thing. just that its quite loserfied. hahaahah.. but its ok. i love the company. i love my seniors. haha.. bona is just ultimately hilarious. serious. hahaha.. and i stil think hairy bro looks like him.. some how la.. dunno where look like also.. just some how.. haha..

hmmm.. on another note. my friend's mother passed away this morning. i hope he's taking it fine.. sigh. sometimes we will only know how to treasure relationships when it happens to others or urself.. when will we ever learn without such unfortunate things happening to us...

hey diana, bin, ling and yi na.. i miss our mj days. no matter how sucky life was then, i dun think i will ever survive it without u all.. and mr fangs. (is he with me ah?? or is he in bin's pencil box??)

and so... life moves on..

to live is Christ, to die is gain. philipians 1 :21

just one of the many many

my watch endorsement photo.

hahah.. just one of the many many.. hahahaha

communication problems

i'm happy to noe the reason wasn't me. although i still think i doubt u- a lil. life just has to be as complicating as it is, i guess.

OH well.

lately, i realise i have a serious communication problem. not that i'm hostile or aloof, just that i can't seem to carry on conversations with a certain group of people. it is also not that i need to gain their favour or what not, but i realise that i can't seem to get along very well with them. probably its because of my 10 years upbringing in a girl's school that i'm not expose to certain circumstances,but i really wonder how the rest does it, so easily in fact. by their behaviour, their words, their topics of conversation. i can't seem to handle it. i mean, ya.. there is an exception to some.. who bother to reciprocate the conversation: its either they are friendly, or they know i'm trying hard to make them laugh and to feel comfortable with me.

it was evident in JC.. and much more now.

i underestimated 'my sense of propriety'. and i think u underestimated it too.

afterall, i am a convent girl.

but somehow, i dun behave like the rest. i behave the conventional way- and that is something thought provoking.

hmmm. why do i behave like this?

Dear GOd..

i wanted to sleep.. but i just had to blog this down..

A certain goood fren who i had not spoken to for a lonnng time msged me yday.. He said he needed some one to talk to. and so i told him to call me.. and when i heard his voice, i knew sth was wrong..

the fact that his mother's days are numbered.. and she's lying in hospital now.. and each time that she's awake,she screams in pain. she couldn't even recognise her husband.. my heart just dropped, as tears stream down my face.

then and there.. i really realise how important my family members are to me.. and how important faith is needed to keep one going. the issue here is not 'Why God allow such things to happen' but rather, it is how we get through this with Him. Since all that works out is for good.. and everything is happening in His timing.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love
him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

have u hug ur daddy and mummy today?? go and give them one and tell them u love them.

sometimes, i wish i can just spend all my days singing and worshiping u.. so that i'll be stronger in ur word and be a blessing to others. i wish we didn't haf to do go thu wat we are gg thru now, but to live in ur presence, and just proclaiming ur name and shouting ur fame. ..

omg omg omg!!

omgomgomgomgomgomgomg.

i had a photoshoot today!!

i felt like a model.

wahaha.

i can't wait for the photos to be out tmr!! aww maaaaaannnn....

this is killing me. hahaha..

oh gee. i really love my aunty ruth. she always has the best lobangs. hmm..

*thinks.

actually its kiat's. but ahhh.. who cares. i love aunty ruth (and kiat)..

i pray the photos will come out niceeeee...

omgomgomgomgomgomgomg.

shits. stats project is sooooooooooo dead.

dead. tired.

God's will.

i thought i could finally go clubbing on thursday with the hall peeps.

BUT. i just had to fall sick.

there's this little instruction which is the last line at the medicine tag thingy..

"Avoid alcohol"

SO SAD la.

feeling quite miserable- can't make up my mind if i'm hot or cold.

so manny deadlinesss... test this thurssssssssssssss.

traveling to teach krystel..

bleah.

ahhhh.

i'm sick. i caught the flu bug.

for wat rite.

rather catch butterflies.

then again.

butterflies are bugs.

ok. i'll catch birds then.

"i survived one year w/o u... honestly.. it hurts."

evil thoughts

running thru my head.

i shouldn't be thinking of such things. that is wrong.

pure hypocritism.

but i cannot stand him/her anymore!!!!

Dear God.. give me strength.

i remember typing that blogging is gg to be frequent a few weeks back.

ha.

oh well.. life at the moment is quite crazy. and me, getting more indolent by the day, rather choose lying on the bed with eyes closed than sitting on this hard blue chair to blog. (although i heard KR's chairs are worse)

i hate legal. have i said that before? hmm.

been feeling like some caged bird ( or hamster) recently. the ironic part is that its not a 'master' who locked the door of my cage but rather, me, myself and i (the bird or the hamster in me) who willingly took that bunch of keys and lock myself in- willingly or hypnotised, i'm not sure. i feel stuck here. as in life revolves ard this hilly place.. i eat, sleep, shit here for like 5/7 of the week. i hardly contatcted the outside world. (but at least i knew bali was bombed again- my heart aches for them.) and the remaining 2 days that i try to get back my life to normal, with laur co next to me, are spent travelling to krystel's house, teaching jo and to church.

oh gee. i'm starting to contradict myself.. i mean i wanted to stay in hall really badly. and i treasuer my friendships and all that i made here. the rag and the cheerleading times.. but some how, it seems to demand so much from me that i'm getting so irritated. ah. i haven't started to done up the treasury book.

i perfectly understand why one needs and wants a physical somebody of the opposite sex. becos it is that person that he/she seek solace and comfort. he/she feels wanted and important. he/she feels that life is all to live for and wonderful. that life is perfect and carefree. that he/she can exchange the stress and the unhappiness for the love and the warmth a wide-opened arms offer.i understand why they need to have that feeling.

becos at this point in time, i need to feel that too.

not that i'm in self depression mode, i just had this sudden bout of loneliness. so ya i'll be fine la.

wats more pressurising at the moment: i'm getting fat. bleaaaaahhhh... while everybody else is getting thinner. this sucks man. not been exercising though.. sian.

i miss my jc days. i miss you, you, you, you and.. erm.. you.

oh! i got my red striped converse sneakers. :) need to add stuff to my wishlist soon. haha

weiseong asked me if i wanted to go clubbing. hahaah.. hilarious, but sweet. and i can't believe his gf was jealous of me. like wth. eww. nono.

i.want.to.dye.my.hair.again. i mean, come on. have u seen sam lo lately. wth.

and wth. i'm just typing watever thats coming to my mind.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. bin. diana. anybody. drive me ard.

i miss father, mother, corn, jo, gema, mess.

why do i always get stuck in dungeons?