was a sad one. well, to me it was. i felt so sad, i woke up with a heavy heart. i can't disclose it, but all i can say is that it is just so... sad. :(
affected me very muh esp when i heard sad songs. haha.. oh well. they don't call me emotional for nothing. :)
--------------------
i have concluded: i'm too scared to go and start another one. i'm afraid.. just very afraid.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
mismatched.
today i woke up feeling vey irritatedly sleepy. (haha whats new anyway)
so i went to the toilet and did the normal everyday routine, dressed up for school and went downstais to the comm hall for breakfast.
i walked out of hall together with eunice, vincent (the guy who got me in hall- who i think have no recollection of who i am) and some other law guy.. and i was wondering why the steps my feet took felt uneven. and so i looked down. to my horror, on my left feet was my charles and keith brown sandals and on my right....... my purple flip flops.
how embarassing. -.-
eunice kept laughing and apologised for doing so. haha.. well, i have to admit it is funny. she asked me to go back to change since we only took about 50 steps from our block. but it was already 8 50. so i just hecked. and went to class with my mismatched slippers/sandals. whichever la. haha..
so thankfully i was wearing jeans. however, not that long. while waiting for jamie to come down the steps to the lt, she had a horrified face and said "what happen to ur foot?"
-.-
so throughout our macro and it lect, this woman could not stop laughing. whats best was that other ppl were staring at me. hhahaha.. damm. i mean i nv notice ppl's shoes before la. dunno why so many ppl do that. anyways. jamie actually ssaid she thought i was trying to act cute. haha. whatever la!!
oh wells, at least i manage to survive the stares. and i think i look quite funky la. hahaha..
what i do to get attn. cmi la!!
hahahahahahahah...
so i went to the toilet and did the normal everyday routine, dressed up for school and went downstais to the comm hall for breakfast.
i walked out of hall together with eunice, vincent (the guy who got me in hall- who i think have no recollection of who i am) and some other law guy.. and i was wondering why the steps my feet took felt uneven. and so i looked down. to my horror, on my left feet was my charles and keith brown sandals and on my right....... my purple flip flops.
how embarassing. -.-
eunice kept laughing and apologised for doing so. haha.. well, i have to admit it is funny. she asked me to go back to change since we only took about 50 steps from our block. but it was already 8 50. so i just hecked. and went to class with my mismatched slippers/sandals. whichever la. haha..
so thankfully i was wearing jeans. however, not that long. while waiting for jamie to come down the steps to the lt, she had a horrified face and said "what happen to ur foot?"
-.-
so throughout our macro and it lect, this woman could not stop laughing. whats best was that other ppl were staring at me. hhahaha.. damm. i mean i nv notice ppl's shoes before la. dunno why so many ppl do that. anyways. jamie actually ssaid she thought i was trying to act cute. haha. whatever la!!
oh wells, at least i manage to survive the stares. and i think i look quite funky la. hahaha..
what i do to get attn. cmi la!!
hahahahahahahah...
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
a quick one.
ah. just had markteing lect.. gave up on going to appeal for fna tut later at 1. decided i could do good with 3 hours before my theatre studies tutorial, which reminds me to add that sam quek and me are actually doing a same module. haha.. winnie's stalker. :X
oh wells. i'm gonna meet serene for lunch in a bout 20 min time at biz.
i hope i can get the tutorial slot for macro later.. and then i'll be really happy. please GOd.. *prays*
oh wells.. haven't really feel that i completed my CNY shopping.. because i'm like gg to spend the very little i got on sth cheap and worth. i just realise i haven'y gotten a skirt this year. haha... so i guess i dun have to shave my legs. *ROFL
i watched geisha yday. beautiful. i think ziyi zhang is so pretty.. and gong li aka li gong (HAHA) is so seductive. phwoar. she's hot man.
and after watching how satsu and chiyo were seperated.. i can't imagine parting with corn and jo mo.. so sad man..
------------------
so there's no chingay tonight.. i'm quite sad actually. since sat was so fun and all.. gosh i think i'll miss chingay when its over. i propose we have a chingay dance shirt. haha.. for memories.
the girls with zf. haha..
winnie and i on our way back- and winnie scared a poor little malay girl in the train. hahaha
oh wells. i'm gonna meet serene for lunch in a bout 20 min time at biz.
i hope i can get the tutorial slot for macro later.. and then i'll be really happy. please GOd.. *prays*
oh wells.. haven't really feel that i completed my CNY shopping.. because i'm like gg to spend the very little i got on sth cheap and worth. i just realise i haven'y gotten a skirt this year. haha... so i guess i dun have to shave my legs. *ROFL
i watched geisha yday. beautiful. i think ziyi zhang is so pretty.. and gong li aka li gong (HAHA) is so seductive. phwoar. she's hot man.
and after watching how satsu and chiyo were seperated.. i can't imagine parting with corn and jo mo.. so sad man..
------------------
so there's no chingay tonight.. i'm quite sad actually. since sat was so fun and all.. gosh i think i'll miss chingay when its over. i propose we have a chingay dance shirt. haha.. for memories.
the girls with zf. haha..
winnie and i on our way back- and winnie scared a poor little malay girl in the train. hahaha
Monday, January 23, 2006
THIS STUPID SYSTEM REALLY SUCKS!
WTH IS AN APPEAL FOR!! ARGHHH!!!!
so now.. i end sch very late everyday. please pray i can get the tutorials i really want by begging the teacher. i' like how pissed. no way can i swallow a 5 hour break!! NO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:'( i'm freaking disappointed. there goes my sem 2.
bloody system sucks.
WTH IS AN APPEAL FOR!! ARGHHH!!!!
so now.. i end sch very late everyday. please pray i can get the tutorials i really want by begging the teacher. i' like how pissed. no way can i swallow a 5 hour break!! NO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:'( i'm freaking disappointed. there goes my sem 2.
bloody system sucks.
Friday, January 20, 2006
stupid tutorials
hais.. just came back from the dean's office. gee. i thought i had to go thru this whole interview thing, and answering questions.. pleading for the tutorial i want and express how desperate i am for that tutorial slot. HOWEVER, what i had to do was just to fill in some form. cheh la. i hope i sound very desperate in the form. now i regret a little.. i should have gone in and find that woman straight and pleas for change of lecture times. CRAP!! argh shit.
miracle that i was able to hear both my alarm clock and hp alarm ring this morning at 8 15. haha.. i mean esp so since ben came over to my room last night, i mean morning at 2 30 am, to check on how i was and to give a me a "benjy cure" which he claims it's very effective. gee. anyway, i thought by doing so, he was really sweet. Of course to those (ESP EVELYN, WINNIE, YEE LIAN, CONSTANCE AND HWEE YING) who really took care of me of this round's food poisoning of dunno what.. haha.. ( yes yes, food poisoning again!! 3 times in 3 weeks!!), thank you so much. i think i would die of loneliness and misery if not for u all.. :) i'm really glad that u guys are my hall mates and my beloveds. haha
so anyways, benny boy came over and entertained me with his encounters with freaking smelly ppl, and then entertained hweeying, winnie and myself later at 3 with some cool videos till about 3 45am.. haha.. yea.. i can actually wake up at 8 15 la.
---------------
Looking back on my week. tuesday has got to be the most depressing day, and wednesday the most painful one.
TUesday:
-all started with the tutorial results. sigh.. only 1 out of 14!!! :(
- an ugly chingay costume- but it looks better the more u see it; however, it must be MY top that has problems lor.. sigh. i bet that tailor made my costumr first, just like how i always make philip's christmas presents first. *ROFL
- and then i had to laugh so hard during chingay practise when i was doing shoulder sit with zhen feng. all the skirt's fault, cover his head. haha lucky my skirt is short la. otherwise, up to now, i'll still be laughing. so i landed weirdly and i hit my chin on my knee. my knee's blu-black is freaking huge, my jaw hurts like hell.
- so i went to sleep, VERY HUNGRY, declined to go for supper due to depression over tutorials. only to wake up at 4 am to lao sai.
*diaos.
Wednesday:
- suffering. from dunno what time to dunno what time.
- didn't go for my 2 lectures. felt very guilty. thought i could rely on weiming to tell me what i missed out on, only to have a reply ,
" oh. i was looking for an excuse for not gg to lecture. then when u msg me, i found the perfect excuse not to go for lecture"
someone please slap weiming.
- i din help out in welcomeback supper preperations. feel so bad..
- i slept the whole day. the WHOLE DAY!!!
- i got stomach cramps too!!!!!!!
i think i am so strong la.
------------------------
so i read on JOseph yday.. and so, God spoke.
Ever wondered why Joseph didn't think himself crazy and ridiculous when he told his brothers about his dreams.. of his brother's sheaves bowing down to him and the sun, moon and stars bowing down to him as well.. diddn't the thought of it made him think it was quite far fetched? the courage needed to tell all ur other 10 older brothers, a younger brother, ur father as well, is so much...
and the fact that he never gave up on God, esp when he was sold off as a slave by his brothers,put in jail for an accused crime, stuck in jail for more than 2 years after the cupbearer was released to serve the king. never did he gave up on God.
The amount of faith we need is really a lot to survive this life on earth. Joseph is my role model la.
and then i read another passage,Job 2:1-10 - this one, God was TOTALLY speaking to me la, no doubt.
Job 2:1-10 talks about how satan approached God, and how God told Satan how strong Job's love for and faith in God is so strong. Thus, Satan plaqued him with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. despite his wife telling him to curse God and die, Job's humble reply was
" You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" Job 2:10
and so, i read my daily bread. the main point of the reading yday was mainly on being a student as well as a teacher in such situations. student- to learn from these bad things that happen and teacher- to show the world how u overcome it with Him.
i'm obviously not the least happy regarding the tutorials. that i was only given only 1 tutorial slot out of the 14 choices i made!!!!!!! but i am able to learn what i should do when i don't get any slots in the future, which i hope that will never happen. *prays hard* and i pray i get my remaining tutorials!! OH PLEASE LET MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
When i fell that day and hit my chin on my knee, i thank GOd that an orh cheh was all i got. Alvin told me last niight while waiting for winson, that his fren hit his chin on his knee, and his chin split.. meaning u could see the bone.. and the blood and all... all i could mentioned then was " THANK YOU GOD."
And i also thank God for just telling me how freaking strong i am, that i never knew. i could tahan food poisoning as well as stomach cramp, and orh chehs and shoulder aches and headaches. haha.. i'm so strong la!! NOW WHO SAID I WAS WEAK??
i feel like i found new meaning in my relationship with God. :) All glory be unto HIm. Amen.
------------------------
CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!! AHHHHHH!!! i want go shoppinG!!!!!!!
----------------------
Difficulties tend to call out great qualities.
miracle that i was able to hear both my alarm clock and hp alarm ring this morning at 8 15. haha.. i mean esp so since ben came over to my room last night, i mean morning at 2 30 am, to check on how i was and to give a me a "benjy cure" which he claims it's very effective. gee. anyway, i thought by doing so, he was really sweet. Of course to those (ESP EVELYN, WINNIE, YEE LIAN, CONSTANCE AND HWEE YING) who really took care of me of this round's food poisoning of dunno what.. haha.. ( yes yes, food poisoning again!! 3 times in 3 weeks!!), thank you so much. i think i would die of loneliness and misery if not for u all.. :) i'm really glad that u guys are my hall mates and my beloveds. haha
so anyways, benny boy came over and entertained me with his encounters with freaking smelly ppl, and then entertained hweeying, winnie and myself later at 3 with some cool videos till about 3 45am.. haha.. yea.. i can actually wake up at 8 15 la.
---------------
Looking back on my week. tuesday has got to be the most depressing day, and wednesday the most painful one.
TUesday:
-all started with the tutorial results. sigh.. only 1 out of 14!!! :(
- an ugly chingay costume- but it looks better the more u see it; however, it must be MY top that has problems lor.. sigh. i bet that tailor made my costumr first, just like how i always make philip's christmas presents first. *ROFL
- and then i had to laugh so hard during chingay practise when i was doing shoulder sit with zhen feng. all the skirt's fault, cover his head. haha lucky my skirt is short la. otherwise, up to now, i'll still be laughing. so i landed weirdly and i hit my chin on my knee. my knee's blu-black is freaking huge, my jaw hurts like hell.
- so i went to sleep, VERY HUNGRY, declined to go for supper due to depression over tutorials. only to wake up at 4 am to lao sai.
*diaos.
Wednesday:
- suffering. from dunno what time to dunno what time.
- didn't go for my 2 lectures. felt very guilty. thought i could rely on weiming to tell me what i missed out on, only to have a reply ,
" oh. i was looking for an excuse for not gg to lecture. then when u msg me, i found the perfect excuse not to go for lecture"
someone please slap weiming.
- i din help out in welcomeback supper preperations. feel so bad..
- i slept the whole day. the WHOLE DAY!!!
- i got stomach cramps too!!!!!!!
i think i am so strong la.
------------------------
so i read on JOseph yday.. and so, God spoke.
Ever wondered why Joseph didn't think himself crazy and ridiculous when he told his brothers about his dreams.. of his brother's sheaves bowing down to him and the sun, moon and stars bowing down to him as well.. diddn't the thought of it made him think it was quite far fetched? the courage needed to tell all ur other 10 older brothers, a younger brother, ur father as well, is so much...
and the fact that he never gave up on God, esp when he was sold off as a slave by his brothers,put in jail for an accused crime, stuck in jail for more than 2 years after the cupbearer was released to serve the king. never did he gave up on God.
The amount of faith we need is really a lot to survive this life on earth. Joseph is my role model la.
and then i read another passage,Job 2:1-10 - this one, God was TOTALLY speaking to me la, no doubt.
Job 2:1-10 talks about how satan approached God, and how God told Satan how strong Job's love for and faith in God is so strong. Thus, Satan plaqued him with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. despite his wife telling him to curse God and die, Job's humble reply was
" You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" Job 2:10
and so, i read my daily bread. the main point of the reading yday was mainly on being a student as well as a teacher in such situations. student- to learn from these bad things that happen and teacher- to show the world how u overcome it with Him.
i'm obviously not the least happy regarding the tutorials. that i was only given only 1 tutorial slot out of the 14 choices i made!!!!!!! but i am able to learn what i should do when i don't get any slots in the future, which i hope that will never happen. *prays hard* and i pray i get my remaining tutorials!! OH PLEASE LET MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
When i fell that day and hit my chin on my knee, i thank GOd that an orh cheh was all i got. Alvin told me last niight while waiting for winson, that his fren hit his chin on his knee, and his chin split.. meaning u could see the bone.. and the blood and all... all i could mentioned then was " THANK YOU GOD."
And i also thank God for just telling me how freaking strong i am, that i never knew. i could tahan food poisoning as well as stomach cramp, and orh chehs and shoulder aches and headaches. haha.. i'm so strong la!! NOW WHO SAID I WAS WEAK??
i feel like i found new meaning in my relationship with God. :) All glory be unto HIm. Amen.
------------------------
CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!! AHHHHHH!!! i want go shoppinG!!!!!!!
----------------------
Difficulties tend to call out great qualities.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
oh btw, i dun noe if u read my blog:
i read ur blog entry and u are so totally selfish.
please la. if the person that left is ur best fren, will u not feel sad;won't you cry? and who are you to comment on what he did to chase her? you are not even him to comment. you don't knoe the whole situation and what has been going on between him and her.
Also, u kids are just so naive. things dun happen just like that. ever wondered why her family must leave? u mean u accept such explanations? all in all, although you got one of the main points right, but you totally don't know the whole picture to comment.
There's more than 1 reason to why people cry when they part.
its because its your issue with the others, i'm not bothering about arguing with you. but i'm with the duck on this one.
just my blog, my thoughts and my jaw freaking hell hurts.
i read ur blog entry and u are so totally selfish.
please la. if the person that left is ur best fren, will u not feel sad;won't you cry? and who are you to comment on what he did to chase her? you are not even him to comment. you don't knoe the whole situation and what has been going on between him and her.
Also, u kids are just so naive. things dun happen just like that. ever wondered why her family must leave? u mean u accept such explanations? all in all, although you got one of the main points right, but you totally don't know the whole picture to comment.
There's more than 1 reason to why people cry when they part.
its because its your issue with the others, i'm not bothering about arguing with you. but i'm with the duck on this one.
just my blog, my thoughts and my jaw freaking hell hurts.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
i'm just so evil. i dun noe how to say it.
oh. i said it already.
anyways, i thought a lot during the bus ride. and i really hate what i'm feeling. becos not only did it consume many brain cells, it made me feel evil. shucks.
i had that stupid feeling at least 3 times already with 3 diff people of 3 different characters . the first one totally put me off. completely. in retrospect, i was super evil.
the second, grew from disgust to sth completely unexpectedly different... and then to.. devastation.
the third, i just experience today.. went from good to 'urgh', back to good and then 'urgh' again.
i reallly hate this feeling. and i have no idea how to go abt getting rid of it.
sometimes, i really hate being laureen goh. simply becauses when she tries to please people instead of herself, she gets hurt. and when she pleases herself, she hurts others.
sigh.
sometmes i believe i will never be able to find it.
----------------------------
i would blog abt sth else, but i noe that people affected by this incident are reading this. so i shan't say it. just that although i'm cool abt it already.. money, esp to me, doesn't come easy. i don't live a luxurious life as you think i do.
sometimes i pretend, sometimes i do it because i want to, sometimes i do it because i have no choice, and sometimes i do it because it is only right. but if you don't understand what or how the system is working or works, u seriously cannot judge a person by her appearance.. because you do not know that she's actually putting on a front.
sometimes its difficult, but i know there's a rainbow. wait till i get my sunshine.. wait till i get it; i'll show it to u, that you totally have underestimated me.
i'm not ambitious; but i defend my God.
-------------------------------
a frightful experience- no words can describe.
-------------------------------
on another note, bash was fun!! mos is huge. i love the retro and white room!! i love my hall mates!
clubbing is fun la!! dammit.
winnie and me. :D
oh. i said it already.
anyways, i thought a lot during the bus ride. and i really hate what i'm feeling. becos not only did it consume many brain cells, it made me feel evil. shucks.
i had that stupid feeling at least 3 times already with 3 diff people of 3 different characters . the first one totally put me off. completely. in retrospect, i was super evil.
the second, grew from disgust to sth completely unexpectedly different... and then to.. devastation.
the third, i just experience today.. went from good to 'urgh', back to good and then 'urgh' again.
i reallly hate this feeling. and i have no idea how to go abt getting rid of it.
sometimes, i really hate being laureen goh. simply becauses when she tries to please people instead of herself, she gets hurt. and when she pleases herself, she hurts others.
sigh.
sometmes i believe i will never be able to find it.
----------------------------
i would blog abt sth else, but i noe that people affected by this incident are reading this. so i shan't say it. just that although i'm cool abt it already.. money, esp to me, doesn't come easy. i don't live a luxurious life as you think i do.
sometimes i pretend, sometimes i do it because i want to, sometimes i do it because i have no choice, and sometimes i do it because it is only right. but if you don't understand what or how the system is working or works, u seriously cannot judge a person by her appearance.. because you do not know that she's actually putting on a front.
sometimes its difficult, but i know there's a rainbow. wait till i get my sunshine.. wait till i get it; i'll show it to u, that you totally have underestimated me.
i'm not ambitious; but i defend my God.
-------------------------------
a frightful experience- no words can describe.
-------------------------------
on another note, bash was fun!! mos is huge. i love the retro and white room!! i love my hall mates!
clubbing is fun la!! dammit.
winnie and me. :D
Friday, January 13, 2006
early morning
just came back not too long ago from supper.. had a milo dinosaur and 3 mouthfuls of louis' prata. i'm proud to say that this is my first supper staying in hall (and i'm not kidding).
somehow, i'm overwhelmed with thoughts: stupid, emotional and dunno what else type of thoughts.
not sure what it is, but just everything in general. of my life, my frens, sch, and memories-beautiful and sad.
and i just had to give up reading my marketing notes becos i realised none of my IT notes went to my head. Preoccupied, thats the word.
time passes really fast, i still can't believe i'm in uni. heh. its all happening so fast and i'm getting quite afraid. i know that i've grown up a lot more as compared to 2004 and 2005- in terms of maturity and spiritually. some times i believe my brains are finally workingand that they have been dormant and stuck at the age of 12.
so i turn 20 this year. ha. how frightening. i've been on this earth to close to 2 decades. thats freaky. somehow it just seems like i just started kindergarten ydays. in my green and white kinderland uniform, waiting for the sch bus and crying my lungs out when i was pushed into the bus. i really have a strong dislike for that stupid aunty who assisted the driver in the bus, telling mother to just not worry abt me screaming and crying. (becos corn was braver than me- in terms of first day of sch) But its thanks to that sickening aunty that i learnt wat it meant to be independent.
as years go by, kinderland was bearable. and there was primary sch. i believe those years in the white, black and red building and in the blue and white uniform which i wore for half the years of y life have got to be the best ones. i started taking public transport to school in primary 6.. all the waiting at the bus stop for the bus, the running from one end to another to check which bus: 197,32 and 40 was departing first so that we can get to sch on time. the screaming of when which bus we (paulene, denise and myself) were each in charge of came first. and going to Caltex after school everyday to eat Hersheys' chocolate. ha. i was getting more independent.
and after all these years, the lessons that i learnt, the happiness that i experienced and the pain that i felt, have all been so unique to me. The fact that i'm blogging at this atrocious timing at 4.27 am in hall just goes to show how my story of independence has unfolded.
----------------
when u put ur trust and faith in one person who u really look up to, and to find that in time to come, things change and he/she is no longer the person you know. how would you feel?
i just want to let you noe that i cried. i cried not only because i had never imagine such an outcome; i cried because i feel that you are going the wrong way and i am in no power to tell, rebuke or beg you. and all i can do is just pray and wait for God to speak to u.
But have your eyes been blinded by the things of the world? that your vision is block and you just see what you want to see instead of the real thing? i pray, and i'll keep on praying.. because i look up to you.
----------------
Angels worship at your throne...
My Redeemer lives.
somehow, i'm overwhelmed with thoughts: stupid, emotional and dunno what else type of thoughts.
not sure what it is, but just everything in general. of my life, my frens, sch, and memories-beautiful and sad.
and i just had to give up reading my marketing notes becos i realised none of my IT notes went to my head. Preoccupied, thats the word.
time passes really fast, i still can't believe i'm in uni. heh. its all happening so fast and i'm getting quite afraid. i know that i've grown up a lot more as compared to 2004 and 2005- in terms of maturity and spiritually. some times i believe my brains are finally workingand that they have been dormant and stuck at the age of 12.
so i turn 20 this year. ha. how frightening. i've been on this earth to close to 2 decades. thats freaky. somehow it just seems like i just started kindergarten ydays. in my green and white kinderland uniform, waiting for the sch bus and crying my lungs out when i was pushed into the bus. i really have a strong dislike for that stupid aunty who assisted the driver in the bus, telling mother to just not worry abt me screaming and crying. (becos corn was braver than me- in terms of first day of sch) But its thanks to that sickening aunty that i learnt wat it meant to be independent.
as years go by, kinderland was bearable. and there was primary sch. i believe those years in the white, black and red building and in the blue and white uniform which i wore for half the years of y life have got to be the best ones. i started taking public transport to school in primary 6.. all the waiting at the bus stop for the bus, the running from one end to another to check which bus: 197,32 and 40 was departing first so that we can get to sch on time. the screaming of when which bus we (paulene, denise and myself) were each in charge of came first. and going to Caltex after school everyday to eat Hersheys' chocolate. ha. i was getting more independent.
and after all these years, the lessons that i learnt, the happiness that i experienced and the pain that i felt, have all been so unique to me. The fact that i'm blogging at this atrocious timing at 4.27 am in hall just goes to show how my story of independence has unfolded.
----------------
when u put ur trust and faith in one person who u really look up to, and to find that in time to come, things change and he/she is no longer the person you know. how would you feel?
i just want to let you noe that i cried. i cried not only because i had never imagine such an outcome; i cried because i feel that you are going the wrong way and i am in no power to tell, rebuke or beg you. and all i can do is just pray and wait for God to speak to u.
But have your eyes been blinded by the things of the world? that your vision is block and you just see what you want to see instead of the real thing? i pray, and i'll keep on praying.. because i look up to you.
----------------
Angels worship at your throne...
My Redeemer lives.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Monday, January 09, 2006
ah...
another week passed. school's starting tmr. how boring. really. well.. at least we are moving back to hall.. which is another boring thing- only the moving of MANY things back and the smaller toilet and the absence of family and laur co, etc.
but oh well.. new year, new sem, new start. start to study again.. *yawn
dokies. i have yet to pack my stuff to bing back to hall.. all those bidding of mods getting me really cranky and crazy. i hope weiming doesn't kill me for my choice. i feel so guilty. but hey. its my results. then again.. only left 12 spaces. please God.. let me take it.
-----------
today was a cold, rainy wet day. best to be at home, snuggled under my blanket.. with laur co next to me..
but oh well. gg to church is more worth and impt.
before service started, i read what i didn't read the day before.. GEn 18-20.. i think. too lazy to check la. anyways, how appropriate for me to have read the whole event of how Abraham bargained with God over righteous ppl living in Sodom and gomorrah; how Lot's family was saved and how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt..
i didn't really think much abt it simply because i heard this story over a million and one times. no revelation.
during the message, uncle kng yan preached abt passion.. that u will only get a deep and real passion only when u have a revelation.
later, during thr combined MKC-Youth prayer, pastor asked us abt our desires. not only that, he emphasised to press on forward, to move on, not to look back on what we have previously done, our records and memories. how appropriate was it for him to say
" in Luke... the shortest verse... and it says.. 'Remember Lot's wife'."
how appropriate.
how my heart totally just understand what made me read that oh-so-famous passage that morning.
God was speaking to me. then and there. right into my heart. i heard it.
and He said very clearly,
"Laureen, press on forward. Don't look back. Remember Lot's wife."
How wonderful God is, to know exactly what has been in my heart the past year.
--------------------------
2006: a new start, a new life, a new me.
------------------------
daryl (aw), u idiot. y didn't you tell me. anyway i'm moving back to hall.. nearer to ur side; and i still have ur christmas present. ha. ok. we really haf to meet soon. haha. tell ur sis and bro i'll miss them. *sigh
another week passed. school's starting tmr. how boring. really. well.. at least we are moving back to hall.. which is another boring thing- only the moving of MANY things back and the smaller toilet and the absence of family and laur co, etc.
but oh well.. new year, new sem, new start. start to study again.. *yawn
dokies. i have yet to pack my stuff to bing back to hall.. all those bidding of mods getting me really cranky and crazy. i hope weiming doesn't kill me for my choice. i feel so guilty. but hey. its my results. then again.. only left 12 spaces. please God.. let me take it.
-----------
today was a cold, rainy wet day. best to be at home, snuggled under my blanket.. with laur co next to me..
but oh well. gg to church is more worth and impt.
before service started, i read what i didn't read the day before.. GEn 18-20.. i think. too lazy to check la. anyways, how appropriate for me to have read the whole event of how Abraham bargained with God over righteous ppl living in Sodom and gomorrah; how Lot's family was saved and how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt..
i didn't really think much abt it simply because i heard this story over a million and one times. no revelation.
during the message, uncle kng yan preached abt passion.. that u will only get a deep and real passion only when u have a revelation.
later, during thr combined MKC-Youth prayer, pastor asked us abt our desires. not only that, he emphasised to press on forward, to move on, not to look back on what we have previously done, our records and memories. how appropriate was it for him to say
" in Luke... the shortest verse... and it says.. 'Remember Lot's wife'."
how appropriate.
how my heart totally just understand what made me read that oh-so-famous passage that morning.
God was speaking to me. then and there. right into my heart. i heard it.
and He said very clearly,
"Laureen, press on forward. Don't look back. Remember Lot's wife."
How wonderful God is, to know exactly what has been in my heart the past year.
--------------------------
2006: a new start, a new life, a new me.
------------------------
daryl (aw), u idiot. y didn't you tell me. anyway i'm moving back to hall.. nearer to ur side; and i still have ur christmas present. ha. ok. we really haf to meet soon. haha. tell ur sis and bro i'll miss them. *sigh
Friday, January 06, 2006
yay!! we celebrated evelyn's birthday today!! hahaha
although she said she expected the card becos constance and i were caught off guard. *grumbles* but she didn't expect the cake!! yay!! haha.. i'm such a sweet fren. *smiles* keke.
anyway, evee.. hope u like the slippers. haha.. sorry man.. they didn't have yellow ones. :(
---------------------------------
ah! winson found sponsors!! haha.. he's soooooo zai la. he clinched UOB sponsor la.. clinched doorgifts sponsor la.. gee.. starts to feel like a 1 man team. aiyah but wth. hahaha... woots! less work for all of us! hehe. but i think we should at least find one each ba.
sometimes i think he treats us too nice till i totally dun really care abt what he thinks. hahaha. such as coming in 1 hour late for meeting. hehe.
oh wells, at least he has my respect for tolerance level. haha..
--------------------------------
people should really be professional by being sensitive when they do their jobs. seriously.
there's this 'tiko' in dance. i'm damn scared of him now. wth la.
sigh. we all have to run far far from him.
i actually shiver when i think of how he said it and his lecherous expression on his face. seriously, nothing can go more tiko than that.
ok. i need a "biao bao". eh. nono.. "bao biao".
-------------------------------
meeting dawn, myra and jan tmr!! its been 3 long years. how sad eunice can't ake it tmr. :(
------------------------------
although she said she expected the card becos constance and i were caught off guard. *grumbles* but she didn't expect the cake!! yay!! haha.. i'm such a sweet fren. *smiles* keke.
anyway, evee.. hope u like the slippers. haha.. sorry man.. they didn't have yellow ones. :(
---------------------------------
ah! winson found sponsors!! haha.. he's soooooo zai la. he clinched UOB sponsor la.. clinched doorgifts sponsor la.. gee.. starts to feel like a 1 man team. aiyah but wth. hahaha... woots! less work for all of us! hehe. but i think we should at least find one each ba.
sometimes i think he treats us too nice till i totally dun really care abt what he thinks. hahaha. such as coming in 1 hour late for meeting. hehe.
oh wells, at least he has my respect for tolerance level. haha..
--------------------------------
people should really be professional by being sensitive when they do their jobs. seriously.
there's this 'tiko' in dance. i'm damn scared of him now. wth la.
sigh. we all have to run far far from him.
i actually shiver when i think of how he said it and his lecherous expression on his face. seriously, nothing can go more tiko than that.
ok. i need a "biao bao". eh. nono.. "bao biao".
-------------------------------
meeting dawn, myra and jan tmr!! its been 3 long years. how sad eunice can't ake it tmr. :(
------------------------------
'memories are meant to be remembered, not to be lived in.'
~stephanie low.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
in His time
ooh!! i forgot to add that i was on TV on the 1st!! haha.. looking ah ma, and i thought people wouldn't recognise me but 2 people already said " I SAW U ON TV!" GEE..
i blame it on qi jing's blue pants. although there's no link. but i dun care. haha
----------------------------------
dokie. i was thinking if i would actually see her a few days ago.. and i saw her on 31st. at BISHAN la. hahaha how SCARY la.
hmm.. i really thinks she's pretty. and i really thought they were really mfeo. i mean, ya. but gee.. she's much prettier than the current one. seriously. i rather the former's attitude, character, personality , whatever compared to the latter. and she talks to me lorrrrr.. and i can clique with her better too..AND SHE'S SO PRETTY LOORRRR.
prob its the change in mindset that caused me to not have a strong liking for her. but..
gee. no buts.
sigh. so sad.. but oh well.. it's his choice anyway. its more of who touches his heart more than who touches mine.
but i really think she's pretty. at least prettier than the other. and i rather her. ok u get my point.
----------------------------------
i had a dream again last night. i can't describe it. i don't know if i've been anticipating it; desprate for it; not wanting it. i totally have no idea.
the missing birds got me all in a frenzy. why?
1. sense of responsibility?
2. becos i care how he will treat me?
3. or.. because of him??
EWWWW. yucks. gross. wth.
oh goodness.. i'm quite scared. but i don't know the real reason. this is killing meeeeee.
---------------------------------
ok i read someone's blog. then i felt very sad all of a sudden.
ahhh shits. not that i dun haf faith; its just the waiting that is causing me to suffer from anxiety.
bah. whatever.
so if people can move on.. why can't i?
ok. my theme song for the year..
"i like to move it move it.."
ok. i'm sick. somebody help me.
-------------------------
bin ling diana yina: hellu. discusiion of time tables soon, please!
--------------------------
if everyday was simply a holiday; how wonderful life would be.
i blame it on qi jing's blue pants. although there's no link. but i dun care. haha
----------------------------------
dokie. i was thinking if i would actually see her a few days ago.. and i saw her on 31st. at BISHAN la. hahaha how SCARY la.
hmm.. i really thinks she's pretty. and i really thought they were really mfeo. i mean, ya. but gee.. she's much prettier than the current one. seriously. i rather the former's attitude, character, personality , whatever compared to the latter. and she talks to me lorrrrr.. and i can clique with her better too..AND SHE'S SO PRETTY LOORRRR.
prob its the change in mindset that caused me to not have a strong liking for her. but..
gee. no buts.
sigh. so sad.. but oh well.. it's his choice anyway. its more of who touches his heart more than who touches mine.
but i really think she's pretty. at least prettier than the other. and i rather her. ok u get my point.
----------------------------------
i had a dream again last night. i can't describe it. i don't know if i've been anticipating it; desprate for it; not wanting it. i totally have no idea.
the missing birds got me all in a frenzy. why?
1. sense of responsibility?
2. becos i care how he will treat me?
3. or.. because of him??
EWWWW. yucks. gross. wth.
oh goodness.. i'm quite scared. but i don't know the real reason. this is killing meeeeee.
---------------------------------
ok i read someone's blog. then i felt very sad all of a sudden.
ahhh shits. not that i dun haf faith; its just the waiting that is causing me to suffer from anxiety.
bah. whatever.
so if people can move on.. why can't i?
ok. my theme song for the year..
"i like to move it move it.."
ok. i'm sick. somebody help me.
-------------------------
bin ling diana yina: hellu. discusiion of time tables soon, please!
--------------------------
if everyday was simply a holiday; how wonderful life would be.
alritey. today started off not very good. haha
i was woken up by a sharp pain in my stomach at 4 am in the morning laaaaaaa!!! fed up. went to the toilet and Lao-ed everything out. hehe.
and then again at 9 am. of which i refused to get out of bed by then, so i went back to bed, with a sms to winson that i'll be late for meeting which was at 11. hahaha..
perhaps i was boasting abt the good food i ate the day before that i kena food poisoning of a certain dimsum. i dunno. i only realised at night when i told father that i've been laoing and he too, went to the toilet for the similar cause more than 3 times. hahaha..
and while corn, mother and jo are perfectly fine. i wonder how ah kong is.
ah. see where i got my weak stomach genes from. cheh.
on my way to hall, i msged winson, telling him i was leaving house at 11. and told him i was gg to hall although i wasn't feeling very well because of his marketing meeting and if i died halfway, he better save me. of which he replied " ya, i will save u. but please reach hall safely."
oh wells.. so i reached hall at 12 45. heh. hahahahah... evelyn and winson were waiting for me la. so paiseh. but hey. i treated them chicken rice.. with winson's " ji fan jia rou" (like some carnivore) and i think the aunty who packed the chicken rice knew i was late for my meeting or sth.. she decided to punish me by giving me the packet with lots of fats, skin and bones. while the other 2 ( esp the "jia rou" wan) totally boneless.
fed up.
anyway, like as if i was in any condition to eat chicken rice, i ate less than 1/2 the pack before i threw it away. so oily. yucks.
so we started filming our MV of which i dun have much comments for because i zhao halfway, when my stomach gave me problems again..
dance later was just cleaning throut so it was quite boring yet funny. i mean how can it not be funny when u have aaron doing his mambo moves. hahaha.. and his facial expressions are so irrrritatingly irritating, haha.
so no stunts todat.. not even shoulder sit with zhen feng. because i told him i'll totally fart in his face if he couldn't make it. ahahahahaahah.. and if qi jing spinned me, i'll just vomit everything out. hehe.
so yay. managed to had a stunt-free day.
before we left hall, had a talked with puay san and constan-teeny. realised i was actually oblivious to what was gg on ard me.. hehe..
so while i took the bus home with constance, we talked abt someone else and how we all find him eye catching; while i was wondering if the opticion in harbour front was still open because i ran out of my contact lens solution.
oh just FYI, the opticion was closed la. sian.
---------------------------
life's difficulties are to make one better- not bitter.
someone, remind me that please.
i was woken up by a sharp pain in my stomach at 4 am in the morning laaaaaaa!!! fed up. went to the toilet and Lao-ed everything out. hehe.
and then again at 9 am. of which i refused to get out of bed by then, so i went back to bed, with a sms to winson that i'll be late for meeting which was at 11. hahaha..
perhaps i was boasting abt the good food i ate the day before that i kena food poisoning of a certain dimsum. i dunno. i only realised at night when i told father that i've been laoing and he too, went to the toilet for the similar cause more than 3 times. hahaha..
and while corn, mother and jo are perfectly fine. i wonder how ah kong is.
ah. see where i got my weak stomach genes from. cheh.
on my way to hall, i msged winson, telling him i was leaving house at 11. and told him i was gg to hall although i wasn't feeling very well because of his marketing meeting and if i died halfway, he better save me. of which he replied " ya, i will save u. but please reach hall safely."
oh wells.. so i reached hall at 12 45. heh. hahahahah... evelyn and winson were waiting for me la. so paiseh. but hey. i treated them chicken rice.. with winson's " ji fan jia rou" (like some carnivore) and i think the aunty who packed the chicken rice knew i was late for my meeting or sth.. she decided to punish me by giving me the packet with lots of fats, skin and bones. while the other 2 ( esp the "jia rou" wan) totally boneless.
fed up.
anyway, like as if i was in any condition to eat chicken rice, i ate less than 1/2 the pack before i threw it away. so oily. yucks.
so we started filming our MV of which i dun have much comments for because i zhao halfway, when my stomach gave me problems again..
dance later was just cleaning throut so it was quite boring yet funny. i mean how can it not be funny when u have aaron doing his mambo moves. hahaha.. and his facial expressions are so irrrritatingly irritating, haha.
so no stunts todat.. not even shoulder sit with zhen feng. because i told him i'll totally fart in his face if he couldn't make it. ahahahahaahah.. and if qi jing spinned me, i'll just vomit everything out. hehe.
so yay. managed to had a stunt-free day.
before we left hall, had a talked with puay san and constan-teeny. realised i was actually oblivious to what was gg on ard me.. hehe..
so while i took the bus home with constance, we talked abt someone else and how we all find him eye catching; while i was wondering if the opticion in harbour front was still open because i ran out of my contact lens solution.
oh just FYI, the opticion was closed la. sian.
---------------------------
life's difficulties are to make one better- not bitter.
someone, remind me that please.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
had such a great day today!! :D (or rather yday)
becos it was mummy's birthday, we went to eat dimsum buffet at tung lok.. in east coast! haha.. whats so funny was that chong was asking me which restaurant actually had dim sum buffet.. and i ended up eating it instead of him. haha.. :X
anyways, ah kong took a bus down to our place before father drove us all to
the restaurant. Ah kong got hp la. so hip man. hahaha.. his ringtone is the irritating ketchup song la. even more hip. oh well.. what to do. its MY ah kong ma. hahahaha...
and there we were.. eat until we all nearly burst. ah kong was the first to give up because he had breakfast before meeting us. and i was obviously 2nd. haha.. mother said i was controlling my diet. i'm like o please.
anyways, we sat there till the buffet ended. and we sent ah kong home.. proceeded to Tamp mall to watch Narnia. whats so beautiful about this movie is not the movie itself; but my whole family watching together. :) haha.. so happy lor.
Narnia is a gooood show. really.
anyways, after walking ard Tamp for a while, mother insisted we had to eat sth for dinner even though all of us were super full. haha.. so mutton soup, it was! yummy. :D
when we reached home.. we cut the Mango ice cream cake corn bought the day before. tasted great.
anyway, i'm super full now, i can puke out a cow.
-------------------------------
i dreamt another dream last night..
i dreamt i saw a few words beside my name on ur reflections.
i wish it were true; i wish i could just stop being a fool.
becos it was mummy's birthday, we went to eat dimsum buffet at tung lok.. in east coast! haha.. whats so funny was that chong was asking me which restaurant actually had dim sum buffet.. and i ended up eating it instead of him. haha.. :X
anyways, ah kong took a bus down to our place before father drove us all to
the restaurant. Ah kong got hp la. so hip man. hahaha.. his ringtone is the irritating ketchup song la. even more hip. oh well.. what to do. its MY ah kong ma. hahahaha...
and there we were.. eat until we all nearly burst. ah kong was the first to give up because he had breakfast before meeting us. and i was obviously 2nd. haha.. mother said i was controlling my diet. i'm like o please.
anyways, we sat there till the buffet ended. and we sent ah kong home.. proceeded to Tamp mall to watch Narnia. whats so beautiful about this movie is not the movie itself; but my whole family watching together. :) haha.. so happy lor.
Narnia is a gooood show. really.
anyways, after walking ard Tamp for a while, mother insisted we had to eat sth for dinner even though all of us were super full. haha.. so mutton soup, it was! yummy. :D
when we reached home.. we cut the Mango ice cream cake corn bought the day before. tasted great.
anyway, i'm super full now, i can puke out a cow.
-------------------------------
i dreamt another dream last night..
i dreamt i saw a few words beside my name on ur reflections.
i wish it were true; i wish i could just stop being a fool.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Sunday, January 01, 2006
becky just asked me to join daryl, dicky and herself at orchard. siao lor.. os late liao.. hahaha.. not that i actually mind la.. just that its raining now and i dun want to dress up for juat a short period of time.. wastes so much energy...
haha i just read winnie's reflections of her 2005.. so being ever so bored i shall just do mine now..
Reflections on 2005.
January: oh yes. i started work at SAA. wahaha.. quite fun. managed to earn money. increased frequencies of shopping trips. happiness level increased. esp from setbacks faced from the previous year. start of $2 lunches which only includes porridge, peanuts, luncheon meat and vegetables.
Feb: even happier when i found out my boss and her subordinate's secret. life at SAA improved tremendously. Pay for Jan came in super late. quite pissed abt it. start of wok for diana and daniel.. CNY was great. :) although it just wasn't as happy as the year before. but nvm.
march: cannot really remember much, but all i noe was i was still working, and still happy with mypay. pay kept on increasing although i kept on slacking. Results of A's released. thank GOd. :)
April: tuition kid. GEE. new experience.
May: zOO!!! :D
June: dunno la. chose uni liaoo rite? major decision. super headache.
July: finally ended work. din play very much but still.. haha.. managed to get mother's union award. woohOO!! aunty ruth and bro tim celebrated my bday hahah.. my deep red IRIVER and my adidas striped watch. bro helped me pull strings for hall. :)
Aug: a/c starts to run dry. no money liao. sch starts.. hall starts. :)
Sept: trying very hard to adapt..
Oct: Krystel's exams. major headache.
Nov: Exams.
Dec: CHINGAY. diaos. Church skit: BEautiful. :) exam results too. :D
haha i just read winnie's reflections of her 2005.. so being ever so bored i shall just do mine now..
Reflections on 2005.
January: oh yes. i started work at SAA. wahaha.. quite fun. managed to earn money. increased frequencies of shopping trips. happiness level increased. esp from setbacks faced from the previous year. start of $2 lunches which only includes porridge, peanuts, luncheon meat and vegetables.
Feb: even happier when i found out my boss and her subordinate's secret. life at SAA improved tremendously. Pay for Jan came in super late. quite pissed abt it. start of wok for diana and daniel.. CNY was great. :) although it just wasn't as happy as the year before. but nvm.
march: cannot really remember much, but all i noe was i was still working, and still happy with mypay. pay kept on increasing although i kept on slacking. Results of A's released. thank GOd. :)
April: tuition kid. GEE. new experience.
May: zOO!!! :D
June: dunno la. chose uni liaoo rite? major decision. super headache.
July: finally ended work. din play very much but still.. haha.. managed to get mother's union award. woohOO!! aunty ruth and bro tim celebrated my bday hahah.. my deep red IRIVER and my adidas striped watch. bro helped me pull strings for hall. :)
Aug: a/c starts to run dry. no money liao. sch starts.. hall starts. :)
Sept: trying very hard to adapt..
Oct: Krystel's exams. major headache.
Nov: Exams.
Dec: CHINGAY. diaos. Church skit: BEautiful. :) exam results too. :D
