i'm just so evil. i dun noe how to say it.

oh. i said it already.

anyways, i thought a lot during the bus ride. and i really hate what i'm feeling. becos not only did it consume many brain cells, it made me feel evil. shucks.

i had that stupid feeling at least 3 times already with 3 diff people of 3 different characters . the first one totally put me off. completely. in retrospect, i was super evil.

the second, grew from disgust to sth completely unexpectedly different... and then to.. devastation.

the third, i just experience today.. went from good to 'urgh', back to good and then 'urgh' again.

i reallly hate this feeling. and i have no idea how to go abt getting rid of it.

sometimes, i really hate being laureen goh. simply becauses when she tries to please people instead of herself, she gets hurt. and when she pleases herself, she hurts others.

sigh.

sometmes i believe i will never be able to find it.
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i would blog abt sth else, but i noe that people affected by this incident are reading this. so i shan't say it. just that although i'm cool abt it already.. money, esp to me, doesn't come easy. i don't live a luxurious life as you think i do.

sometimes i pretend, sometimes i do it because i want to, sometimes i do it because i have no choice, and sometimes i do it because it is only right. but if you don't understand what or how the system is working or works, u seriously cannot judge a person by her appearance.. because you do not know that she's actually putting on a front.

sometimes its difficult, but i know there's a rainbow. wait till i get my sunshine.. wait till i get it; i'll show it to u, that you totally have underestimated me.

i'm not ambitious; but i defend my God.

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a frightful experience- no words can describe.

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on another note, bash was fun!! mos is huge. i love the retro and white room!! i love my hall mates!

clubbing is fun la!! dammit.



winnie and me. :D