the answer to your question.

siew wen told me a joke.

i laughed. till i cried... i think i finally gave in. this is much harder than i tot it would be, and i thought i had dealt with it 1 sem ago. i need corrective surgery. just like how xiaohua went for his lasic corrective surgery and how they "forced open his cornea" and how pain it was. =( its the same. exactly the same.

i dun noe how to tell you. but i know you want the answer. i've been thinking about it esp since sat morning, after i read ur msg. if it wasn't for Hweeying's call to ask me to open the gate for her in the morning, i wouldn't have got up to read ur msg.

perhaps it may seem that i am playing the issue up a bit on my part. but it really isn't intentional. 0% intentional

i've been thinking about it. long and hard. told you how frustrated i was and all that, for not being able to give u an answer directly. but i think i came up with an answer.

i think my problem is that i really really really like you. but its not on the level that you are on. and thats basically why its so hard for me to come to a conclusion about your question. it is because i dun want to hurt you. but i think the hurt is inevitable. i tried, in my opinion minimising it. but apparently, i don't think its diminishing anything. and for that, i end up hurting myself.

no, i'm not saying i'm noble, in that sense; neither am i coming up with excuses, nor making myself appear pitiful and so that your heart will melt or whatever. i just want to tell you how i realy feel, i also want to tell you how much i treasure our friendship which i told you upteen times.

you're really one of those jewels found in a beach of sand, or whatever they call it... but i can't keep it for myself because you deserve a better girl who can really appreciate how to wear an emerald stone.

you still are my bestest friend. and i hope i am yours too.
-------

you'll never know how much tears i shed for you.