i have a fat face.

ron koped from veron's blog. i really think my face is damn fat. need to lose all the weight, and i'm so determined, i will. but i think my teeth is the also the reason why. haha.. everything blame the teeth. but ok la. at least they chose the one without my teeth showing, but i still look weird. aiyah can we have a re shoot.. i practice the face liao.. =/ REALLYY!!!

but i really like the background pic more than my indiv shot (obviously). i think its so much of an improvement compared to my 'Daphne' pic last dec!! haha.. hmm.. make up does wonders.

-----

Pastor's dad passed away this morning. sometimes i wonder what happens at the transition.. i'm always afraid i'll lose my way. But now, i know for sure i won't.

i love my Jesus.

Jo's results out tmr.. i dunno what i'm feeling.

the parable of the 10 virgins

God spoke to me today. =) quite directly, i must say.

about a week ago, a close fren confided in me of how tired she's been, tired that she's not being able to be there for everybody that she cares, and she feels so selfish that she neglected them.

i gave her an advice. i told her it's ok to be selfish. to settle ur own needs first before going on to care about others.

that night, i stopped and thought about it: have i told her the right thing? was i right, as a child of God, to tell her to be selfish?

well, i sort of just let it go. till today.

ps ho talked about not missing the boat today. he used the word 'remnant', of what i always thought had a negative connotation attached to it, to describe his sermon today.

"Remnant," he said, " is to be seperated and set apart by God."

Noah and his family (8 of them) were remnants. so were Lot and his 2 daughters, Jacob & family, Joshua and Caleb, Elijah and the 70,000 faithful followers and the Israelites who were going into captivity in eze 12:1-16.

He continued on with examples from the NT. and something struck me when he mentioned about the parable of the ten virgins.

Matthew 25
The Parable of the Ten Virgins 1"At that time the kingdom of
heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the
bridegroom. 2Five of them were foolish and five were wise. 3The foolish ones
took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. 4The wise, however, took
oil in jars along with their lamps. 5The bridegroom was a long time in coming,
and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.
6"At midnight the cry rang
out: 'Here's the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!'
7"Then all the
virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. 8The foolish ones said to the wise,
'Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.'
9" 'No,' they
replied, 'there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who
sell oil and buy some for yourselves.'
10"But while they were on their
way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in
with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut.
11"Later the
others also came. 'Sir! Sir!' they said. 'Open the door for us!'
12"But he replied, 'I tell you the truth, I don't know you.'
13"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.

i'm always stumped by this particular parable. i never knew or really bothered to go and find out why the hell are those 5 virgins so selfish.

but today. today, i knew why.

it is okay to be selfish. nobody is going to look out for you. u really have to take care of yourself in certain issues before taking care of others.

so if remnant has a negative connotation to it, so does being selfish, then i guess it just depends on the situation you are in that determines which category you fall under.

--------------

i read a blog entry yday. and i thought bout it- long and hard. altho the blogger of that post is of a young age of 16, i don't totally agree with the whole post- because she didn't know the research you had done. But me, being 20 and much more mature and perhaps, understanding you better than her, i will have to agree with her main point of her arguement.

i pray that you'll open your eyes and see the truth.

you used to ask me, "who sets what is the truth and whats not?"

i can tell you, i wouldn't know the answer, because the devil turns up many variation of the stories. but think about your life, what u've been thru, what u've experience with Him.

the cold truth/ question to ask is: are u bending the facts to suit what u want to face? what you want to hear? what you think is convenient for you to believe in?

no. i wouldn't dare lecture you. no, i wouldn't dare to scold/raise my voice. who am i anyway- to tell you off, someone who knows more than me?

no, i am not qualified. i'm not condemning or what not to ur new belief, but its because i love you so much thats why i'm saying all this. and i believe u'll probably won't look at me in the same way anymore. i just wnt you to hold on to the truth u've been holding on.

are u still close to Him the way u were?

if you are, then i guess we'll just leave it as that- but i still love you.

Beaitiful Saviour

Jesus,

beautiful Savior.

God of all majesty

risen King.

lamb of God,

holy and righteous

Blessed redeemer

bright morning star.

All the heavens shout your praise

All creation bows to worship you

How wonderful

how beautiful

name above every name

exalted high

how wonderful

how beautiful

Jesus your name

name above every name

Jesus.

...AHHH!

i just realise its 6 months before i turn 21.

...

*SCREAMS*

SP photo shoot

urgh. i got home about 1 and a half hours ago. my left eye is tearing continuously ever since i took out my lens just now lianniie helped me with eye shadow just now.

gawd. i hope the pics come out nice, but i doubt so. i mean, not that i dun trust choonie's professionalism... i dun trust all of them la- the pic was so gross and they said i nailed the look. like -.- hello? i look like a 1.chipmink. 2.hamster. 3. beaver. 4. rabbit. take ur pick. =/

sheesh. but perhaps, since my eyes were giving me problems, i couldn't see it properly. plus the fact that i was the only one who could see my fats in the pics, i think i am entitled to my own comments. haiya. i hope i look alrite.

ok fine. i'll just trust choonie.

i mean.. i also got no other choice lor.. hhahahahaha..

joyce is such a darling. i love her soo soo sooooo much! =)

ok i'm still tearing, think i'll go sleep.

*if the pics are decent, i'll post it up.. after all the photoshop. hahahahaa..

sian + random

another day has come and gone...

sian.

i got 3/5 for my finance quiz again. how sian lor. 3 quizes, all 60%. so cute lor, cannot stand.

okay. i am gg to get my A's. jiayou! woohOO.

----------

hmm. GST rising to 7%!! 0.0 how sian can that get.

the scandinavian countries have really high taxes.

ok. random thought of the day.

remind me to tell u what i think about income gaps in singapore and the asian financial crisis.
that is, after i studied for it.

hmm...

ramblings

blogger's got this really new layout thing, and i really like it. =)

i decided not to include my taggie because i dun really think there's much of a need anyway lah. (but i read the msg liannie.. =) muacks hope u are ok liao! )

------

another week has just ended. its 12 more days to exams. altho i haven't started on my mgt sci, at all, i think i'll somehow be able to do well this sem, i hope. i need to pull my cap up this sem, so i can relax a lil next sem, esp since i dun have any excuse of not doing well this sem la. aiyah whatever.

okay.

----

new news of cell posting. =) i'm happy. i'm sure it will all start really well. this split is what we really needed. what i dun understand is why are certain people not moving on with their lives? dammit.

-------

today's mkc was quite hectic. felt really tired today, esp since i felt like i ran the whole prog today. the kids were so rowdy, rarh, i wanted to bite their heads off. =/ but anyways, i still love them, somehow. haha

becky's worship today was great. =)
--------

hey mentos, angelinny, jo, derek and debbie.. a few more days! =) jiayoujiayou!!

------

she closed her eyes and focused on the cross. with one hand placed on her heart and the other raised to Him, she felt her spirit lifted as she sang..

"at the cross
i bow my knee
where Your blood was shed for me
there is no greater love than this
....what can seperate me now?"

"i wish i was in Your presence praising You 24/7"

presentation + resume

i viewed my presentation today on tape. at least i don't really think i look like some animal when i wea formal. haha.. my hair needs another haircut badly. ( or should i just snip it all off again?)

i feel that i could have done a lot more better and am quite disappointed with myself. A presentation is made perfect with a stunning presentator. and i aim to do just that. a little more practice- thats all i need. i know i can do it. and do it well.

----------

i just did my resume, not very sure if i should included certain things. i really want to include my primary school achievements. hahaha.. but yj said it was too far off, and gave me a face. haha... i was quite active in primary school ok. i have like so many different certificates from my ensalmb to different types of national competitions that shuyun, clara and i just patricipated for the heck of it. hahaha..

As i read my secondary school testimonial, i felt a sense of nostalgia engulfing me. i really miss my secondary school days where we just complained nonstop over the work we had to do, the many stupid activities we had to join. i even remember emceeing a chinese singing competition as well as achieving first place in a chinese drama that i had to act gay. how embarassing it felt, but proud when i went up stage to claim my very first chinese acheivement. in retrospect, i appreciate all of these events. including the folding of those mass leavelets and stacking up those damn dusty chairs every mass session and assemblies. it was all worth it.

i smile as i recall how our 03s75 of SAjc 1st 3 months participated ever so actively in our little wired 'saint' business and won some award that we were not satisfied but proud of. i smile at the crazy timings i had to wake up and still be late for school and be little pets waiting for adoption by our CTs.

i recall my meridian days. on what dr S asked us to intro ourselves by saying what our fantasy is. from Wimbledon and Oscars to acting and singing with ayumi hamasaki, we said it all. =) From the picking of the class reps, to netball first trials, to the nicknames gathered (my fav has got to be the onr from my darling netball coach: twinkle toes.), tohave been scared out of our wits every econs lecture, to trying to scrape through all our tests, to complaining how freaking long our damn time tables are, to making our econs relief teacher cry because we couldn't understand what dd and ss is all about, to publicising events by getting on stage to sing and dance, to grab any chance i can to walk past the bball court (haha), to form secret alliance with the photocomm to get bball photos, to so many other rubbish things that i've done in meridian. the best of course was the incessent updating of our surroundings with my darling jie meis in the canteen during breaks.

i recall my working days. how i figured out how to use the damn photocopier, how i found out my boss secret, how we got so close, how they have become such unfriendly monsters to such close sisters, how they let me msn and email and whatever else that i shouldn't do and how they cover my ass when i was found out. haha. how one quit and how another came. and how i was awarded a huge elmo on my birthday, a purple crumpler when i left, and of course, not forgetting the longest temp staff award ever in the company.

i conclude that my resume is my life story. an interesting one it has been, and i love every moment and every single person that was involved in it.

totally.

=)

today, pastor said what we are gg to do for Christmas this year.

immediately, you came to my mind.

at that point, how i long to turn back time, and somehow deep within me, i wish it is possible; and i wish you'll just ask me and stop pushing me around.

culture + prestige

Asian values build on confucius values that emphasises on order and discipline. Western values build on rights and freedom. This conflict in cultures has resulted in the many global disagreements such as China's human rights.

who decides which culture is right? who decides what is the basic human rights?

culture imperialism: does it really exist?

part 2 soon.
-------------

watch prestige the other day with fai. boi! it was so good and i am so motivated to study now lah! haha..

an obsession can end your life.
which matters more- love or career?
i still feel that Sarah's death is a maligned one.

the most impt lesson:
things are just as simple as it is, no illusions, no magic. it is just that simple.

another to add on my top 10 fav. =)

the prestige is power lah. =)

i think i should go get the book and read it again... hahahahah..
but for now.. its back to culture.

----------

jia you mentos!! =D

i am totally pmsing. i can feel it in all ways possible.

i have come to a conclusion that i can never ever ever study at home. i study more in hall than at home. sheesh!

a thought came to my mind today during worship in church.

i am not the best- (the humility i need)
but; i am one of the best (the confidence i need)

---------
all the best mentos! jiayou!! =)

rarh.

i'm sorry.

its either i'm pms-ing or i am just simply not the girl u once knew anymore.

short term or long term? u just have to wait and see. because i have no idea too.

so dun tell me about u know what because i really cannot be bothered.

good luck with whatever you are doing.

bye bye.

sian

i am feeling ultra sian now. i think i know why i feel sian. but i can't help it.

--------------

all of sudden, i feel spiritually dry. i think it is a sudden realisation. like mentos' irritating hp alarm "ohiyOOOOoooooooooooooooooOOOOoo..'..

it woke me up.

as i listen to the songs played on my media player, i wondered how foolish i've been these few months. why have i chosen things that are not impt? why have i forsaken Him?

and so, i repent. i do it just like how Paul did it. and i thank Him for listening.

partly because of how i led the kids to worship this afternoon, and just to hear the children sing, touched my heart. if it touches my heart, what more does it do to my Father's heart above? i'm so certain He was smiling at us, telling us the same thing.. He said "I Love You too."


and i hope the children felt it too (altho they were super rowdy yday- i was so close to minusing all their points. RARH)

-----------

i wouldn't say i'm stress. i just feel so sian of almost everything now.

a CERTAIN someone said my blog is so emo, and i told him "well, its MY blog", and perhaps i was a tinge disappointed that he still didn't really know me.

so tmr is a new day, a new start.

Dear God, let it be a refreshing one.

mother + day + maid in manhatten

hmm.. i got tired of studying bonds. actually, i didn't really think i focused on studying it anyways. =( altho i've been at it since 9.. and now is like.. 2.. haha..

mummy's lying on my bed. before she closed her eyes, she said " i miss my air con." hahahaa.. and she's so tired, she didn't even fliched when corn was in my room 5 min ago and we were making quite a lot of noise. so much for meteor garden, haha..

hmm from the looks of it, i think i'll pull the mattress in later.

jo bo also sleeping, didn't even brush her teeth. that woman canot make it.

-----

hmm.. friday just came and went. i spent the whole day sleeping and trying to do sth productive which also meant, i didn't really do much today. only remembered snoozing my alarm clock numerous times, ate breakfast, watch a little news on a certain Dr Unis who was awarded the seoul nobel prize for micro credit ( of which i think is an EXCELLENt idea), stared at mess for a few min, read my script, did a lil on finance, slept, drank my white ipoh coffee. ate dinner, watched tv, and more tv. hahaha..

if only everyday was like this.. i think i'ld just be bored to death. (but i'm not saying anything abt the sleeping part)

hmm.. over the past 3 days, i've been thinking abt the dresses. haha.. so pathetic. gawd. haix. *prays*

---------------
maid in manhattan: social classes, skin colour, politics and media, and of course, the hotel industry. =)

another avenue to be looked into. =)

-----------

ok.. i think i shall go pull in the mattress..

have i ever told you that my mother is a superwoman? phwoar. she's happening.

vivocity and thoughts alike

a kiss speaks volumes.

it speaks of love, passion, desire and reassurance.

Also, it speaks of appreciation, apology, regret.

it just depends on the situation you are in, and how you feel about it.

Most importantly, it comes from the heart.

-----------------------

studied with angeline at the lib today. we sneaked in a can of coffee into the lib. but we soon realised that everybody sneaked drinks in to, so it was prob legal to do that. hmm.

we decided to go vivocity for the heck of it. and so, angeline, being my tour guide brought me ard the places that she has allready explored. hahah..

we both agreed in wonder and amazement how high the ceiling was. haha. it was quite funny.. but nvm.

anyways, the both of us found this really happening shop. the dresses were less than $40!! laureen went crazy- and i tried 3 dresses in a row. there was this particular purple dress that i was so in love with, i have decided to psycho corn to get it for me.

aneline's been fun! i found a new good fren. =)

-------------

hey dude, i hope we got it right. and i hope you are feeling much better. =) gimme a msg when u're feeling better okay?

and lets play mindsweeper flags!!! =)

do i freaking look like a piece of commodity to you to pass around?

urgh.

then again, i think i may have done the same. i dunno lah. sigh.

dear you,

i wrote one whole paragraph, just about to post it up, when i decided to delete the whole post. i dun think i should be writing abt how i feel now, because it is not impt at the moment.

i pray ur princess comes soon too.

think i'll leave you alone for now. but i'll always be here, and you know that.

will be waiting. really.

-laur

i'm geting older.

i read it.

and i want to tell you now, that all the times we had together, i treasured it. esp the very first night at the esplanade. i knew i found a good fren then and there.

btw, it was THAT scary. and i'm THAT lousy. haha

-----------

hai.. i feel older.

i dun have any of those immature thoughts that i used to have once- in terms of my behaviour: on how i should react, on what i should do.

no longer do i want to go clubs, no longer do i crave for alcohol (i just drink it at home- with father)

i start thinking abt my future, and i dun really give a shit of what i've done.

i think of all who i've been in love with all these 20 years, and i snigger at my ownself.

how childish.

somehow, i'm glad. i'm glad i'm starting to think like how i would really want to- altho i said this ike a million times, but i'm really glad.

what i have to do now, is to increase the thickness of my skin. and simply to understand that i'm no superwoman and my philosophy of life may just have to be edited.

i feel older, but i feel better.

sincerity

it really hurts to see you hurt and that there's nothing i can do. perhaps if you were to tell me face to face, i'ld tear right in front of you. i think i feel this way because i know exactly how u feel and that feeling sucks and hence, i don't want you to feel this way; because you are impt to me.

if i could, i'ld give you a hug which i hope it can tell u how sorry i am.

that probably says something about how i feel for you?

i'm not sure..

i'm just so sorry.

ramblings

HAHAHAHAA..

geri the cherry † says:
haha so cute . shibin long hair she look very guai and decent leh !!

geri the cherry † says:
awww...

geri the cherry † says:
u dun think so mehhhhh

laur [FOBC]: i love coffee says:
u mean last time dun look guai and decent??

laur [FOBC]: i love coffee says:
with the *bomb* hairstyle

laur [FOBC]: i love coffee says:
hahaha

geri the cherry † says:
haha no la last time short hair.. more like, "sporty"

geri the cherry † says:
not sporty la. i dunno what word to use

***

hahahaah.. binny binny bin bin. we so love your *bomB* hair. hahahaha...

hmmm.. its been quite a while since i blogged. Jo has finished PSLE. *jumps ard* i feel super liberated in the midst of datelines of reports.

talk about about irony. sheesh.

the weeks been crazy. i haven't got enough sleep.

it is end of week 8 already. how fast is that. sheesh. many things to do, many hours needed- esp to sleep.

talking to geri and dinie now. i miss those days.

i miss my KC mates: jas, troy, celest and dinah.

okay. think i shall sleep. thats what i really need right now. =)

---------

God You make me smile.

Thank you.