i'm geting older.

i read it.

and i want to tell you now, that all the times we had together, i treasured it. esp the very first night at the esplanade. i knew i found a good fren then and there.

btw, it was THAT scary. and i'm THAT lousy. haha

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hai.. i feel older.

i dun have any of those immature thoughts that i used to have once- in terms of my behaviour: on how i should react, on what i should do.

no longer do i want to go clubs, no longer do i crave for alcohol (i just drink it at home- with father)

i start thinking abt my future, and i dun really give a shit of what i've done.

i think of all who i've been in love with all these 20 years, and i snigger at my ownself.

how childish.

somehow, i'm glad. i'm glad i'm starting to think like how i would really want to- altho i said this ike a million times, but i'm really glad.

what i have to do now, is to increase the thickness of my skin. and simply to understand that i'm no superwoman and my philosophy of life may just have to be edited.

i feel older, but i feel better.