close to 3 weeks.

being in sweden here for about close to 3 weeks already, make me realise how much i miss everybody.
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loooked at my reflection in the train windows while on our way to KTH for our class, and i realised i think i've grown fatter. and boy, ain't i horrified. =/

well, its either that or my fringe has grown too long, it has altered my face shape. ( and i strongly believe this is it)
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every time i close my eyes, i just think of the future, of what it entails and what it will bring. honestly, i'm scared: i'm scared it will all disappear. i'm scared it all never came true, that it was a dream.

i remember confidently told troy once, it won't sink in. but i'm slowly taking back my words, swallowing them one by one, as i realise the situation i've come face to face with. i need not have to face it in the few more months to come, but i know i have to handle this same situation next year.

God said He'll give me the understanding to do whats next. but what if i don't want to understand?

sigh.. i answer my own questions these days- there is something terribly wrong with me.

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baby, i miss you. so much.