i dunno

hhahahaha.. a certain person just asked me sth so funny. i felt like laughing.

u noe.. the roariing type of genuine happy- mouth-open-really-wide laugh, i always have...

but this laugh wasn't a similar one.. the question pierced right through my heart, i ended up about to cry instead.

haha.

i appreciate all u guys who would ask me to cheer up. but some things, are just not that easy to change ur mindset, not that i want to be in a pathetic state, but things are just the way it is.
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d c c,

i l u v m. i s d. i d n k i u s l m. b i w u d. w s m o w o l, s i h b a 1 y p. b b t l-s f t i a, i s j c f y. i s d g j r u f t.. i g s j, i w t b t g u. p, i j l R, i l w l; b p i n!!! i j w t l i y a o a, t f y w; t h y h b; t f u b o m n; a u r t m t y l m.

and that is all i want for Christmas. will u grant my wish?

love, Laur.

P.S/ but oh. u wouldn't understand it, would u? simply because.. i can't say it out... its illegal, its prohibited, its not allowed; its forbidden.

but i know, deep in my heart, sth will happen, some one will come, and tell me.. " it's all been a bad dream."

and i'll open my eyes, to a new day, a new chapter, a new life; and i'll embrace it with wide- opened arms, because i know.. someone is waiting; some where.. out there.. in the glorious sun, and the beautiful meadows, anticipating me with the same feelings.

i just have to wake up.. WAKE UP!!

urgh. and we wonder, why is it a chore to get out of bed.

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S C C K: I L U V M, U J D K I, n u'll nv noe it.. never..

because.. i can't make the same mistake. ever ever ever again.