Firstly, congratulations to all 5 of u who did well. I'm really happy for all of you. J think carefully what u want to do bfore u do the JAE yah..

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Sigh. Just that when u thought u are all grown up: more matured in the way u view things, u are being pulled down into this immature argument that, in one way it seems that, it all started because of u.

I never believed in standing up for what I thought was right before. Not only until recently, when I decided to discover the true me. No longer did I want to remain in my own shell.. that is, caring what other ppl think of what I did.

I just wanted to be that girl- the girl I read in storybooks; the girl I always watched in television; the girl i always admired; the girl who stood for what she believed in.

But its difficult to do so after this incident happened. For once I stood firm on my decision on what I thought was right to do.

I wanted to save a friendship that I knew it would last forever- not between me. But between 2 lil sisters of mine.

It was because of just 1 sentence said- 3 words, rather- that caused this whole saga to start.

All I wanted to do is to end it immediately, because what was being said by 1 of them, A, about the other, B, wouldn't be nice if the latter heard about it. Being in that position before, I knew that such circumstances would destroy the friendship they both shared since young.

And so, once I heard it from the 3rd person, I felt that it was only right if I helped A (the one who told C ( the 3rd person) about B) clear the air, and what she meant was an obvious joke.

I explained it to B with care and concern about what A had said about it and even helped save her skin by explaining the reasons on why she probably said such a sentence.

All I wanted to do is just to be a big sister; to help mediate the storm that was imminent, inevitable, if B heard about it thru somebody else.

I managed to calm B down.

But I failed to do so with A.

And she's so pissed with C now for telling it to me. It may also be that she's pissed with me for telling it to B.

I feel so bad. it seems that I managed to really save the friendship between A and B. as well as B and C. but I did not see the strong wind that capsize the ship of which A and C are in.

C said he doesn't blame me and was fine with it. But oh, please!! He was just being scolded by a lil girl with all the vulgarities u can ever imagine. Perhaps he saw it as a childish act; perhaps I should too. But its difficult to think so now because it all started with me.

I msged A to apologized to her for not considering her feelings as much as B. I sent her 12 smses to explain why I did it. Only to receive what I believe, was quite a rude response this morning.

What hurts me most is not the fact that she failed to see my point; but, to see a friendship between A and C destroyed.. all because I thought I did the right thing.

Did I do the right thing? Should I even tell ppl that I dare to believe in what I stood for?

After this incident. probably not..

I think I'm in an identity crisis... At the age of 19.
I'm hopeless.