mmm... i have so much things in my head i want to say.. and i dun noe where to start.. so i think and think and then all of a sudden my mind goes blank..

darn. what did i say i want to blog again??

forgetful le.. tsk tsk.. old le.. haha

Oh YAH..

cornerstone last nite was so great.. although i didn't get to see all my kc frens from that church, the msg was so powerful.. 'another time, another place'..

the speaker.. whatever his name was.. 'brought' us to a journey in heaven.. somehow, just listening about how heaven sounds like and the events that will take place with his super loud voice (the kind where u can forget about even trying to close ur eyes to try to sleep), it just cut so deep man.. the thought of what God's gg to say to me about what i have done in this life i led.. scares the shit out of me. haha..

oh God.. have mercy..

anywaes it help me realised how impt my relationship with God is.

my atm account has finally leave the 1 digit number. haha.. i can finally go shopping.. although i still owe treats to ppl.. lucky i cleared some already. i dun think i'm giving anyone else treats besides elsa and adrian.. becoz before u noe it.. my pay is all GONE! and its only like pay for 8 days.

ooo.. i bought a pair of ear rings. yea.. they look cool on me. its time to change the nerdy look. oh man. haha i must learn how to look my age.

hmmm.. there's someone in my life that i really wish to talk to.. but i just dun noe how to start.. this person is so dear to me but its just so difficult for me to start talking to. i'm also afraid that if i talk 'too much', this person ain't gg to talk to me anymore. and this friendship is more than what a normal friendship is. its not a love kind of relationship but more of a type of a family type of thing.

and because its getting difficult to talk to this person. i somehow feel that we're slowly drifting apart.. and it really hurts because this is someone i really look up to. perhaps my expectation of being transparent with each other is too high.. sometimes i wonder when i tell my feelings and whats gg on in my life to this particular person.. am i getting irritating? too self-centered? to the extent that i dun feel like talking to him anymore...

perhaps i'm just way too sensitive.

alrite.. got to go bathe and get ready to go out.. its bowling time with my cell group!!

selamat hari raya haji!! hmm.. does that sound rite? do u selamat that? haha

selamat hari raya.. de ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne... (dunno the words.. haniS!! teach me how to sing the selamat sonG!!!!) hehe..

ah. another day of making money has passed. :) did i tell u? i no longer eat lunch alonE!!!!

*cheers*

haha.. jumped at the chance when i heard siew kiong (my manager) talking to that training director about the need to hire temp stuff. haha *screams*

welcome on board diana and my cous daniel!!

happy stuff aside..

poor daryl's in hospital.. doctor suspected and confirmed 2 slipped discs.. i only noe its sth to do with the back. other than that i have no idea wats it about. and i assume and concluded that it hurts like crap because poor daryl looked so pathetic on the bed.. although he was smiling and laughing with me.

daryl: hey bro.. hope u get well soon.. will be praying for u.. coz i wanna see u during olympics on tv shooting arrows...

oh gosh. finally finish another day of work. hours passes so slowly esp after lunch. and u're just so tired u want to close ur eyes for that few seconds... and then u jerk up straight awae because ur head felt like it fell of ur neck.

anywae. 'love pentagon' met up ydae!! haha (sound like some love cult or sth. how did we ever get tt name again??? ) anywae i miss all of u!! so much man.. glad we met up ydae and shared watever's happening in our lives..

anywae.. jasmine chan ee ting is now known to be as skinny ikan bilis. she's so freaking skinny.. the sight of her makes u feel so super fat.

troy chionh jin imm is also an ikan bilis. but her condition is much more stable than skinny ikan bilis. haha. in fact troy looks really good. haha pretty ger eh.. haha

dinah chan siew kheng.. so feminine now lor!! last time go out with us wear shorts and slippers. haiyo. and ydae? jeans and HEELS!!!! (she sae becoz her flats broke)

celestine wong xiu ting.. the hair last time used to be the shottest.. now the hair grow so long. haiyo. haha. thank God i still have celest.. becos e other 3 giants really very.. giant.. and they look.. 18. while the 2 of us still look like 14 year olds.. cannot make it. haha celestinEEEEE we need huge makeover!!! haahhahaa...

anywaes.. took quite a lot of photos ydae.. at the fountain. haha.. once i figure out how to transfer the pics in to the comp and then to load onto my blog. wahaha.. may prob take like a few decades before i actually noe how to do that.

and OH YA.. stupid computer refuses to let me start the msn.. so guys.. really wun see me online at all... haha.. not my fault..*stared innocently at u*... computer fault.

hmm.. i think my blog's boring. haha i must go learn how to put photo photo manx..

oo!! have u seen geri's blog?? i think geri's so prettY!!!!!!!

hehe i haven't talked about my new skin yet..

i was supposed to watch the movie with him.. although he said no, he agreed because he knew cinderella was my favourite princess. haha but what happen in the end? stupid movie opened in cinemas during prelim time.. *grumbles* and we broke after that. haha

anywae.. i watched it with jo the mo at home. it was such a sweet movie.. haha.. and my favourite scene is obviously the part seen above.. haha can u imagine my reaction when i saw this blog??

hehehe.... and chad michael murray is so cutE!!!!!!!

church was great this morning. i listened to sermon. wahaha.. anywae.

philip, bex, jean, kiat, peng chuan, tim and me went for lunch at pastamania bugis todae for lunch~ yup.. spicy chicken rocks man. haha...

came home feeling really tired. (i suspect its because of the lens. the price of vanity. wahaha)

and i got to talk to chong who went in 3 days ago.. he said it was haven there.. chi bao bao zhu hao hao. haha but its only the 3rd day la.. as he says. wahaha.

oh well.. seems like almost all my guy frens all have gone to do national duties..

called benjy on the day of meridian's camp fire. haha.. tot he would be gg there to support... and our conversation sounded like this...

"hi benjy!!"
"hi!!"

"ae.. did u recieve the msg from leonard? are u gg to college tonite.."
" oh the msg about REGULUS leading?? so cool rite?? haha but no i'm not gg!! i'm in camp!! how to go??"

"OH YAR hor... u went in yesterdae..oops. *laugh* sorry.."
"ya!! and i just shaved my head!!"

"gee. really???!!!! so how do u look???"
"erm.. not bad lah actually..*laughs*"

"WAHAHAHA.. hairless baby dinosaur!!"
"...thanks. but i'm looking at myself in the mirror now.. not bad la.. and oooo... i realised sth..."

"what???"
"i'm actually balding."

"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHaha...shuddup la!!!"
"okok!! fall in already!! gtg!see ya!! tell me who wins campfire!! bye!!"

----end of phonecall (before i said bye.)------

in the end, REGULUS, under the leadership of the "oh-so-cute" OHL, yvonne goh yu xian, manage to emerge 3rd. =]

good job yvonne!! although u r really acting cute very well.. wahahaha... study hard now ah. hope ur voice is back. i'm proud of u!! in fact all the ex OGLs and our OHL leonard is super proud of u.=]

its great to blog from home. =]

i'm getting more matured as each day passes. i'm stronger now. thanks to the continuous encouragement from the relevant ppl. i wouldn't noe what to do without all of you. thank you so much.

we have come upon an agreement about our relationship: to see how after he finishes his NS. so we shall all just wait and see..

went out with my beloved regulus 2 last year 30th Dec. (yuto's voice is still so high...) anyway, it was great seeing all of them again.. kids all grow up le.. =]

thank God i didn't wear my new OP shirt.. because BEnjy was wearing the brown version..

today was MY 1st 3 months OG outing! haha.. although the attendance was as usual, pathetic. haha.. it was still great fun. as how adrian puts it, "the 3 of us represents 5 ppl each!(after chiew lin went home)" and then continued with "anywae, our og just makes up of us.." i didn't really agree with him on that point.. but it seems to be true.... haha

ANYWAY, adrian lost like wat.. 10 kg. haha.. he really looks good now. apparently, somebody is the top scorer in the hwa chong- st andrews final basketball match(17 pts).. hip la. haha didn't noe this kind of face also can make it. wahaha...

that idert made xiang jie, chiew lin and me wait for so long. esp me. i reached at 6. the rest 6:30. and that IDERT? 7:30. but i forgave him after he treated me to chocolate milkshake at coffee club, which tasted quite gross.. but nvm.. its a treat.. shouldn't say it tasted gross..

found out that he actually works near me!! how cool.. haha but while i sit on front of a computer at the Singapore Accountancy Academy, he sits down and staple papers for some hamper company... wahaha..

Thank God i didn't wear my black polo ralph shirt, because xiang jie wore the exact same shirt.

word of advice: its good to think twice what u wear when u go out.

i'm bacK~ haha using the airport comp again.. =p

bali's a great place, culture and all.. haha. didn't manage to tan myself and become as black as diana.. but we jet-ski-ed!! it was super fun!! but ex too la.. 250 000 Rp for half an hour. ( about s$50)

argh. having stomach ache now..

hey.. haha i'm in the airport. how cool's that. haha.. anywae, not much time before we board the plane to bali. tc guys. till i find the next available com (with an internet)

*SCREAMS* A'S ARE OVER!!!

GOD'S CAKE
>Sometimes we wonder,
>"What did I do to deserve this?" or
>"Why did God have to do this to me?"
>Here is a wonderful explanation!
>
>A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is
>going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend
>broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.
>
>Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks
>her daughter if she would like a snack, and the
>daughter says,
>"Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."
>Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.
>"Yuck" says her daughter.
>"How about a couple raw eggs?"
>"Gross, Mom!"
>"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
>"Mom, those are all yucky!"
>To which the mother replies:
>"Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves.
>But when they are put together in the right way,
>they make a wonderfully delicious cake!
>
>God works the same way.
>Many times we wonder why He would let us go
>through such bad and difficult times.
>But God knows that when He puts these things
>all in His order, they always work for good!
>We just have to trust Him and, eventually,
>they will all make something wonderful!
>
>God is crazy about you.
>He sends you flowers every spring
>and a sunrise every morning.
>Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.
>He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.


thanks to all who has been an encouragement.

life has certainly be hard these few days..missing him like crazy (cringe when i see little kids carrying basketballs); but at least i'm not crying as much. haha. actually come to think of it, i've not cried since last wed. achievement.

i feel happy now. but obviously, not as happy as before.

study hard guys. its in 28 days time..

sigh.

i stopped crying yesterday.

healing process has started. although it stops again whenever i see wormy and start to think about the times we spent together.

sigh.

its going to be a long and difficult journey. but i'm sure i'll make it.

i saw him before entering the LT for econs. my heart skipped a beat. i really do miss him. i wanted to run over and hug him and not let go. but all i managed was just a mere wave... well, at least he waved back. it feels like as if i have a crush on him all over again...

came to the understanding that our relationship was never meant to be. and then i realised that there were so many things that i wanted to say that i have never told him. sigh. ok. its getting too personal..

hmmm.. i really regret not doing so.

i managed to start doing some work and able to concentrate a little bit more compared to the days that i have been crying. i think i stopped crying because there were really no more tears left to cry. cannot come out. i cry all finish already...

well.. i will just have to be contented with the 7 beautiful months spent with my very first boyfriend.

and its time to.. sigh.. move on.

the last time i cried so hard was on february 15th.
reason? i couldn't be with the one i love.

i cried again(still am actually), and even harder 2 days ago.
reason? he doesn't love me anymore.

its over.. 7 months of happy memory. ended. just like that.

i'm distraught, addled, agitated, anxious, beside oneself, bothered, concerned, confused, crazed, crazy, discomposed, distracted, distrait, distressed, flustered, frantic, harassed, hysterical, mad, muddled, nonplussed, nuts, overwrought, perturbed, rattled, raving, shook up, thrown, tormented, troubled, unglued, unscrewed, unzipped, wild, worked up, worried..

i love him. i really do..

why.. why.. why must it end this way?

he was different. so different from the rest. he promised to love me forever. i really thought he meant it. i believed him. why did he say things he doesn't mean.

i dun want just 7 months of memory. i want more than that.

why can't we go on..

it hurts. it really does. my world just crashed down on me.

chong.. i want you back.. i love u..

Have You Ever?
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything
To make them understand
Have you ever had someone
Steal your heart away
You'd give anything, oh
To make them feel the same
Have you ever search for words
To get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Ooh Have you ever find someone
You dreamt of all your life
You'd do just about anything
To look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one
You've given your heart to
Only to find that one
Won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes
And dreamt that they were there
And all you can do is wait
For the day when they will care
Have you ever loved somebody

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand
How I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
Cuz baby I can't sleep

Oh, Have you ever

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!!!

yay... haha its so my day man. but there ain't any time to celebrate.. how can... arGH.

stupid woman in the office told me to come back after 1. i finish school at 12 30 today. like the first time in 2 years. and this stupid woman.. ARGh.

hmmm.. i felt much better after what he confirmed just now. i really felt better. seeing that G***G*NA girl during econs lect was really pissing me off. i was scared at that point in time. scared that he wouldn't want me anymore. simply because i have gone to the extent of loving him so much that i just can't imagine my life without him anymore.

hopless? yea. i agree...

haven't been spending time with each othe for more than 1 month plus and its only after 2 months that i'll be able to do so.. after the stupid, big, fat, A's. the time period id so long, yest so short...

think i'm irritating him too much. i just have to fill my brains with econs instead.

but its so difficultttttttttttttttttt.... argh. i'm so screwed.

ok. its past 1 20pm. the stupid woman's colleague should be back from lunch.

i can finally go home. (and read ch 4 of 'drawing near' .. hehe..)

a publi announcement: happy belated birthday joel and minnie! hope it was a great one..

minnie: i hope u like the water bottle. see? we have the same one now.. how cool is that!! =p

i managed to get 2 extra marks for my geog human paper. its like 54 now.. i hope my physical geog won't do that bad...

hmm... i got back my maths, gp and econs..

i did quite all right for maths.. 56.5% however.. there were tons of careless mistakes and i killed myself for that.

i did quite all right for gp too, i guess.. 58.5%. improvement.. :)

can't say the same for econs.. *sigh* 47%. i was so depressed yesterday. i ate a lot for dinner last night.. A LOT.

so i started gg crazy yesterday, i left 30 over days to A's. so fast, rite... but as how diana puts in.. "after that, we're free!" true, but will i feel happy?

i lay in bed last nite talking to God at 2am, i told him that he promised me if i did my best, He'll do the rest. but that doesn't seem to be happening.

and then it suddenly hit me, if i didn't get this grade, i'll probably just be contented with where i am and start slacking.. (chim, rite? wahaha) so its just a push from Him, i guess.

i fell, but i'll get up again.

all in all, whatever grade my geog gets, i'll still give glory to God! i mean, come on man, if my life is his timetable, i'm sure i'll do well.

thank u Jesus.

siGH.

i studied really hard.i really did. i never studied so crazily before. i studied very very hard. i really really really did.

52 for human geog. dammit! i studied damn hard. arGH. this is the prelims man. i'm supposed to do like my best. is that really my best? i thought i did MY best.

dejected? yea.

depressed? yea.

feel like crap? duh.

it feels terrible. best part is i didn't focus hard enough on my physical. i'm screwing geog.

get A for geog? sorry bro. thats the most impossiible thing that can happen. but then again everything is possible with God, rite?

i haven't gone out with him for more than 1 month. aRGH.i dun feel like gg out anymore.

i have to study. much harder than before.

maths and econs come a few hours later. sigh.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. i just let 7 marks for maths run off... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*screams* I"M TIREDDDDDDDDDD.. sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppyyyy.... sheesh.

hmmm. had quite a lot of "cg rep things" to do this week.

1. stupid performances: - retro class performance
- retro "yi zhi's performance"

2. teacher's day stuff: -mr chen's photo frame.
* of which sarah is doing it.. SARAH: u are so sweet!! u rock manX! *muACKX*

3. cip cards: hmmm.. when am i suppose to collect it agaian, diana??

4. prom night: ask lai lai to write a letter to the army to realease our dearest mr chen.. (arGH.)

hmmmm. chong cut his hair. wahahahaha. and shaved this 'w' behind! hahaha.. look like the cracks of a broken egg. so cute!!!

okae. its really getting nearer to prelims. i really haf to full force now. just that i was so demoralised when i couldn't do any stats question the other day before the mock exam. i think its because i haven't been reading the bible..
(*sorry God..)

AHHHHH.. i forgot to add. ( Thanx 'someone' for the 'shen yin he' answer. appreciated it.)

i cut my hair on saturday.

i was all ready for my fiona-xie-look.

BUT. the auntie cut wronglyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.... *WAILS*

there goes 'fiona xie'... =(

it looked really disgusting the first time she cut. in the end, i told her to cut everything.

all the hair on the floor. my heart wrenched. (still does actually)

3 months to prom.

God.. please let the hair grow at an increased rate......

wahahaha. no gp remedial. but tons of things to do before PE starts. so better hurry up.

it was bin's birthday yesterdae!! *WOoHOO* =] everybody was so excited for her. dunno why lor. it felt like as if it was my birthdae. wahahaha. gee.

anyway, yi zhi did sth really sweet to her.. he baked a fruit cake for hER!!! like "woooooooooohhhh..." so sweet rite.. aiyoh.. hahaha.. it was fun disturbing her.. at least i got back my revenge. *evil laugh* chong said if he bakes a bake for me, i will just haf food poisoning again. so i don't think i will want to try it. i'm really scared of food poisoning now. but then again.. it makes me lose my appetite and then i won't feel so fat. so probably its a good idea. wahaha.

anywae we got a really cool swatch skin watch for her . it was ex la. so she better appreciate it. haha.. i still owe her barney though. *promised i'll get 1 for her. hehe..

yup. exams and tests are everywhere.. driving all of us crazy.. the best part is there's more to come. sheesh. plus the olympics now isn't really helping very much. esp when the swimming section is like at 12:30 am. dammit.

i haf yet to read finish the book!! i'm onlt at day 27, when i'm supposed to be at 36 or more ah? die la. hahaha...

gee.. have so many thoughts but there ain't much time to blog.

study. eat. study. sleep. study. eat. study. shit. study. eat. study.sleep.

when does the all these end?

NOV 24th. (5:0o:01 pm.)

siGH....

few more weeks left to prelims.. it sucks la.. really..

i can't wait for november 24th 5:00:01 pm (if i'm not wrong) to come like really soon.

latest happennings.

(the bads...)

1. pimples are like staying for good.. refusing to leave.

2. sore throat that came.. which i hope it will nv ever come back again.. becos its just so difficult to SHUT UP!!! (...... sheesh.)
*grumbles..* was in misery... can't even sing national day songs properly....

3. that stupid indigestion.... because of that stupid burger king which i'm never gg to eat in like a few years.

4. the fever that resulted from that indigestion that came on and off on august 10th; that caused me to stay up from 3-6am.

5. and hence, have to cancel my 'cut hair' appointment at 10 30 am; which means i am still gg to watch the 9 o'clock show not because of the show but because of fiona xie's hair.

6. we didn't see 5566 live. (DAMMIT!)

(...and the goods)

7. the beautiful fireworks that lit the sky on the night of august 8th. ( 0_0 waH..)

8. the "so late then reach home" at 3am on the morning of august 9th. ( because we went to play pool at parkway)

9. and the 'we' included my church friends and chong. *smiles*

10. chong 'delivered' homework to my doorstep yesterdae when i didnt go to school. (so sweet!!! *MuaCKS*)

11. they showed that concert we missed that day on tv last night!!! (*screams* TONY!!!!!!!!)

OOOO... yan xing shu (duan chenfeng) and cyndi wang (wang xin ling) was also on tv... =D

hmmm.. anybody remembers what is the name of the character cyndi wang played in 'westside story'? nobody seems to remember!!!!! hmmMMmmMMMmm